Snow is not microwave friendly. In fact, snow is not too friendly at all, unless you first buy it a few beers. Then it’s just downright slutty.

My favorite thing to do is watch the radiation box. Not the TV, but the microwave.

I had a dream about you. I was a melted ice-cream repairman, and you had a microwave for a head. You made fun of my trade, so I made you eat tinfoil until your head...

She gave me the cold shoulder, so I heated it up in the microwave. Sometimes #love is leftovers.

Revenge is a dish best served in something microwaveable

Nowadays films and television are what I like to call “Microwave Media”. I like mine in the oven, giving the production time to simmer; get the juices flowing, and cooked to perfection. And that takes...