Several famous people have licked my nipples. Well, indirectly. First they licked the stamps, and then I peeled them off the letters and stuck them on my nipples.

Taste my tears and tell me I don’t have the saltiest love you’ve ever licked. My love for you is like a liquid potato chip.

I had a dream about you. Before I shaved my beard, I looked like a cat. My facial hair accurately represented my political beliefs, and if you don’t agree, well you can just lick my...

A radio in a song in an ice cream cone. Two licks for free, and the third is for sale. My favorite flavor tastes like a commercial, because it’s made with 100% natural advertisement.

My meat smells like cat food. Makes me want to lick my own asshole.

I hear that all too often.

The whole world can’t lick us but we can lick ourselves by longing too hard for things we haven’t got any more – and by remembering too much.

I had a dream about you. I licked your cone of ice cream. It was envelope flavored.