Countless generations have set out convinced that they would succeed where other had failed – that’s where lawyers and reporters come from, you know. They’re the cynical corpses of idealistic young people who thought the...

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damagers awards.

Some Christian lawyers—some eminent and stupid judges—have said and still say, that the Ten Commandments are the foundation of all law.Nothing could be more absurd. Long before these commandments were given there were codes of...

Sometimes I put on a black scuba suit and go walking on the beach, to relax. If I could, I’d sleep in a scuba suit—on a waterbed. Not that I actually ever get in the...

Ordinary human laws are the means — however imperfect — by which we express our understanding of the enduring moral law.

We broke up in eighth grade when Tara-Mae Forrester offered to let me touch her boobs. And I did.

Beware of a client who’s suing on principle and paying by the hour. He rarely gets his money’s worth.

The lawyer’s world is entire unto itself, the human pared away.

A nonhuman animal had better have a good lawyer. In 1508, Bartholomé Chassenée earned fame and fortune for his eloquent representation of the rats of his French province. These rats had been charged with destroying...

Don’t forget that we lawyers, we’re a higher breed of intellect, and so it’s our privilege to lie. It’s as clear as day. Animals can’t even imagine lying: if you were to find yourself among...

Politicians are like warts on the body of society. And the only thing worse than warts are lawyers and lobbyists.

He was your usual man when it came to romance, which is to say he couldn’t recite Baa Baa Black Sheep when sober, whereas when drunk, sixteen cantos of Byron’s Don Juan was par for...

I asked Hillary why she had chosen Yale Law School over Harvard. She laughed and said, “Harvard didn’t want me.” I said I was sorry that Harvard turned her down. She replied, “No, I received...

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This is an aspect of crime stories I never fully appreciated until I became one: it is so ruinously expensive to mount a defense that, innocent or guilty, the accusation is itself a devastating punishment....

The world needs more laws. I say this only because I believe the world needs more lawyers. If everybody was a lawyer, there’d be no unemployment, because the economy would be like a great lawsuit...

Any society that produces twice as many lawyers as it does poets and preachers is doomed.

There comes a time in your life when you can no longer put off choosing. You have to choose one path or the other. You can live safe and be protected by people just like...

America’s been ruined by one word: Bankers. No, two words: Bankers and lawyers. Make that three words. Add politicians to that list. Oh, and don’t forget the lobbyists.

You can’t figure out why I’m mad? How about because I had my tongue between your legs two days ago, or the fact we both almost overdosed on orgasms, or maybe it’s because I got...

Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent.

Guilo, although a lawyer, never lied; at least not to his friends.

All we know about the new economic world tells us that nations which train engineers will prevail over those which train lawyers. No nation has ever sued its way to greatness.

Who leads the world in consumption? America! Who has more lawyers per capita? America! Who has the highest incarceration rate? America! What is the greatest country on earth? America!

We were just a one-room bookstore; we didn’t have any money for lawyers.

Mister Rob Anybody and sundry others?” said one of the figures in a dreadful voice.”There’s naebody here o’ that name!” shouted Rob Anybody. “We dinna know anythin’!””We have here a list of criminal and civil...

America’s problem, in a word, is politicians. In two words, it’s politicians and lobbyists. In three words, it’s politicians, lobbyists, and lawyers. And finally, in four words, it’s politicians, lobbyists, lawyers, and bankers.

We are learning that through striving for justice, tears and laughter, seem more dynamic and shared as each step is taken with communal courage together. Record a legacy, they truly lived, not once stepped back...

The ego is a palpable body part in an attorney, perhaps the most prominent body part.

He recognized it and knew it. In others—clients, witnesses, or sometimes adversaries, he had seen or heard it: A gesture, a phrase, or a tone which exposed unintended truth in the beat of a second.

Isn’t the human body a miracle

I built my ex wife a Castle of Love, and she dug a moat and filled it with sharks and lawyers. Oh well, at least I got to keep the unicorn.

Lawyers are like beavers: They get in the mainstream and dam it up.