If you don’t smell good, then you don’t look good.

A customer facing crucial decisions: What should I wipe myself with? What should I brush with? His personal hygiene was deteriorating rapidly as he stared at the rows of possibilities, sweating profusely. Would he ever...

Please, Percy…change your clothes. You smell like you’ve been run over by an electric horse.

Hygiene is important. That’s one of my failings. So I’m always being called on that.

My mom is at my house every day, and she nags me about everything, especially hygiene.

I went to Bath and Body Works this morning, because I really needed a shower. Hygiene is important to society, I have discovered.

One senses that, in these conditions, no amount of wet-wiping could bring true hygiene.

If you convert a shower curtain to a dress, I’ll wear my waterproof dancing shoes. Together we’ll move so fluidly people will line up to get cleansed.

No one washes their hands after they piss unless they’re in a public place. If I’m at the airport, or a restaurant, and someone else is there, I’ll soap up for the sake of civilization,...

In the morning I brush my teeth with hope, and at night before bed I brush them with defeat. Both are mint flavored, so I try not to get them mixed up.

I always leave the toilet seat up. It’s just easier to wash my hair that way.

Would you mind if I used your kitchen sink to take a bath? I have the hygiene of a midget.

Everything I’ve learned about handshakes is from hands-on experience. Due to hygiene, I only network with rubber glove manufacturers.

There are but a few blood purifiers and these are all in the body. We know them as the liver, kidneys, lungs, colon, and a few glands.

Our assholes will be clean but we must never wash our hands. Our immune systems will be strengthened by our being dirty. Not filthy. Just mildly grimy. Filthy fingernails have always been a favorite fashion...