Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.

It’s the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It is the one who won’t be taken who cannot seem to...

I’m working my way toward divinity.

I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.

The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.

Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it’s like a jackhammer.

If I could be granted a wish, I’d shine in your eye like a jewel.

Group conformity scares the pants off me because it’s so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn’t want to — or can’t — join the Big Parade.

I never know how much of what I say is true.

Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.

I wouldn’t say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.

Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, ”I’ll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?”

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.

When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

I always try to balance the light with the heavy – a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.

The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

I’d make a wonderful Lady Macbeth. I’ll wear a pair of platform shoes or something.

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.

If only I’d known my differentness would be an asset, then my earlier life would have been much easier.

I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Never watch anything stupider than you. It’s helped me a lot.” I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Never watch anything stupider...

I feel like a million tonight – but one at a time.