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Unicorns  Quotes
Life would be simpler if only we were all unicorns.

—Olley White

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UnicornsWise
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Wanton stars galloped neighing like unicorns in blue meadows.

—William Faulkner

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StarsUnicorns
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Love is two unicorns arguing over which is better: one animal with two horns, like a bull, or two animals with one horn apiece. I guess it doesn’t matter, because you should never debate when...

—Jarod Kintz

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AnimalsArgueArguing
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I was testing a hypothesis. But it was right, and then I had a unicorn to deal with. You can’t just say, ‘Thank you so much, go away now’ to a unicorn, the way you...

—Pamela Dean

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MagicScienceScientific-Method
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Sara: Tegan just recently discovered that unicorns don’t exist. Tegan: I just thought they were extinct.

—Tegan Quin

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DiscoveryExtinctSara-Quin
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We were born in the ’70s, back when twins were rare, a bit magical: cousins of the unicorn, siblings of the elves.

—Gillian Flynn

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ElvesFamilyLove
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I suppose I could understand it if men had simply forgotten unicorns, or if they had changed so that they hated all unicorns now and tried to kill them when they saw them. But not...

—Peter S.

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ChangeForgetForgetting
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But is the unicorn a falsehood? It’s the sweetest of animals and a noble symbol. It stands for Christ and for chastity; it can be captured only by setting a virgin in the forest, so...

—Umberto Eco

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ChristianityFablesMythology
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My words and my ideas are my property, and I’ll keep and protect them as surely as I do my stable of unicorns.

—Jarod Kintz

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FunnyIntellectual-PropertyUnicorns
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Unicorns are immortal. It is their nature to live alone in one place: usually a forest where there is a pool clear enough for them to see themselves-for they are a little vain, knowing themselves...

—Peter S.

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AloneAnimalsBeautiful
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A smart person is not one that knows the answers, but one who knows where to find them…

—William Petersen

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AdventureAdventure-StoriesFiction
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I think it’s vital that we do not sleep together. You know, for the safety of the world.” His eyes sparkled and there was just a hint of a smile at the corners of his...

—Diana Peterfreund

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KissingUnicornsWarriors
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From that first moment of doubt, there was no peace for her; from the time she first imagined leaving her forest, she could not stand in one place without wanting to be somewhere else. She...

—Peter S.

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DoubtForestLeaving
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Yesterday I shat rainbows until my anus started bleeding from a unicorn’s horn. Ah, the joys of being in love.

—Jarod Kintz

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AnusCreativeFunny
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All around Molly there flowed and flowered a light as impossible as snow set afire, while thousands of cloven hooves sang by like cymbals. She stood very still, neither weeping nor laughing, for her joy...

—Peter S.

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JoyUnicorns
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That’s an Elf. A Unicorn is a thousand times worse. An Elf you can reason with.

—Bryan Fields

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CatsDragonsElves
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I had to admit it was adorable. You know, in a unicorns-farting-out-rainbows kind of way that made me want to hurl.

—Gemma Halliday

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FartingFunnyRainbows
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The Lady Amalthea beckoned, and the cat wriggled all over, like a dog, but he would not come near… She was offering her open palm to the crook-eared cat, but he stayed where he was,...

—Peter S.

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CatsIndependenceUnicorns
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Eat dirt evil doer!

—A.R. Von

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FantasyHumorIria
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He knew what she wanted, and he wanted it, too; he was ready, but not, despite her gorgeousness, with Tiglah. Tiglah was not worth losing his ability to touch a unicorn.

—

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PuritySexUnicorns
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But it isn’t a rough draft either. The one I turned in several months ago was rough. There were some bad plot holes, some logical inconsistencies, pacing problems, and not nearly enough lesbian unicorns.

—Patrick Rothfuss

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DraftUnicornsWriting
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The dragon turned on the children and unicorns, his mouth open. For a brief moment, they could see his eyes change from blue to a deep red, like coals in a fire. It was almost...

—Bronwen Webb

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ChildrenDragonsFantasy
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You know your life is completely screwed up when you have to look up the mythological figures who talk to you in the bathroom mirror.

—Maurissa Guibord

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HumorousMythologyUnicorns
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THE UNICORN: The saintly hermit, midway through his prayersstopped suddenly, and raised his eyes to witnessthe unbelievable: for there before him stoodthe legendary creature, startling white, thathad approached, soundlessly, pleading with his eyes.The legs, so...

—Rainer Maria

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Fairy-TalesMythologyUnicorns
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I believe in magic. Writing is my magic wand, and through my magic I create my own secret world, away from all these worries and responsibilities. Love, honesty and humanity is essential to enter this...

—Ama H. Vanniarachchy

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DragonsMagicMagic-Wands
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Simple spells were light and fun, like a good joke. This spell was as simple as a symphony and as splendid. After adding the last runes, I swirled power through the old spells ensuring they...

—N.E. Conneely

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BrowniesDwarvesElves
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She was a goddamn unicorn of selfishness.

—Victoria Dahl

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SelfishnessUnicorns
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Luster, bring me home.

—Bruce Coville

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ChildrensFantasyUnicorns
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Michelle: Phone. That had to be my phone waking me up. My hand swept across the nightstand until it found the vibrating hunk of silicone. “Hello.” “Michelle, It’s Gordon from the Cobb County Sheriff’s Office....

—N.E. Conneely

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BrowniesElvesMagical-Creatures
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Stars were golden unicorns neighing unheard through blue meadows.

—William Faulkner

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StarsUnicorns
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Unicorns aren’t magical and beautiful. They’re just predatory horses that have horns and love to eat virgins.

—Delilah S.

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HumorousMagicMythology
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