Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal… In truth, man is incurably foolish....

Moose are the squirrels of Alaska.

To A Squirrel At Kyle-Na-NoCome play with me;Why should you runThrough the shaking treeAs though I’d a gunTo strike you dead?When all I would doIs to scratch your headAnd let you go.

Americanism in all its forms seemed to be trashy and wasteful and crude, even brutal. There was a metaphor ready to hand in my native Hampshire. Until some time after the war, the squirrels of...

The two squirrels quarreled like lovers, and it moved me so much I made both into one toupee. I’m not bald, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wear it. I’m a romantic.

This squirrel is inadequately afraid of humans! Squirrel, I am a threat to you! We are enemies! Please get off my bench! Oh, god! Oh, god! Don’t touch me—oh, god!

She said the words, and then she had a strange moment of seeing them, hanging there over her head. “You’re going to vacuum up that squirrel!”There is just no predicting what kind of sentences you...

Not much goes on in the mind of a squirrel.Huge portions of what is loosely termed “the squirrel brain” are given over to one thought: food.The average squirrel cogitation goes something like this: I wonder...

Aunt Prue was holding one of the squirrels in her hand, while it sucked ferociously on the end of the dropper. ‘And once a day, we have ta clean their little private parts with a...