I serve the people. Am I a politician? No, I’m just a greedy and corrupt waiter.

The lunchmeat fell on the floor, and I didn’t know what to do, so I wiped it off on the bottom of my shoe and served it to my boss. Ah, but that’s life, no?

I have a “Waiter, there’s a hair in my soup” dance. It involves platform shoes, a mustache, and a hair net.

Paul Buchheit: Then you have what we do with PCs, and that’s technically pretty challenging—to take this big network of machines that are unreliable and build a big, reliable storage system out of it.

A lot of the machines that Google is built on—commodity is the polite word for them—they’re regular PCs and so they’re not always the most reliable.

A good server knows how to be seen, yet remain invisible. I was a great server, and I achieved invisibility by never showing up for work. My boss ended up firing me, probably over petty...

Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise.

I ordered a beer and then I ordered another beer, because why finish one when I can finish two? Having only one is great for love, but bad for beer.

If an actor’s neither talented nor handsome, what difference is there between him and any other waiter? That reminds me, my drink needs refilling.

When life is down to nothing then God is up to something but your location must be found within the server of his grace