You know, you’re rather amusingly wrong.

They only asked for punishments that fitted their crimes. Not ones that came like cupboards with built-in bedrooms. Not ones you spent your whole life in, wandering through its maze of shelves.

That was the last cruel irony of Tobias’s life: that he doomed the woman he would have died to save.

Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want a fan club? You are right. I loved the movie, and you were perfect in it, you were absolutely amazing. Definitely Oscar material.

But that’s men all over … Poor dears, they can’t help it. They haven’t got logical minds.

John dear!” said I in the gentlest voice, “the key is down by the front steps, under a plantain leaf!”That silenced him for a few moments.Then he said—very quietly indeed, “Open the door, my darling!””I...

—Et depuis quand les évêques s’y connaissent-ils en femmes?—Très longue histoire. La nuit des temps —répondit l’évêque.

In 1913, when Anthony Patch was twenty-five, two years were already gone since irony, the Holy Ghost of this later day, had, theoretically at least, descended upon him. Irony was the final polish of the...

This life is ironic: for it takes pain to discover pleasure; it takes sadness to know happiness; it takes war to value peace; and it takes hatred to treasure love.[Culled from: “Amara & The Strange...

Two whores who finally found something to mother. A guy could write a book about it, he thought bitterly, call it From Hair To Maternity. It would probly be a very long book. Whores did...

I’d rather be dead than singing ‘Satisfaction’ when I’m 45.

Trusting no man as his friend, he could not recognize his enemy when the latter actually appeared.

She’d been a good nurse, and now she’d never be a nurse again. She was bitter about it and had turned herself into the slut bride from Planet X, as if even in human form,...

I wish I hadn’t cried so much!” said Alice, as she swam about, trying to find her way out. “I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears!...

I was just chased through St. Willibald’s, and you know why? Because I was kind to a quig. I scrupulously hide every legitimate reason for people to hate me, and then it turns out they...

People often say that the English are very cold fish, very reserved, that they have a way of looking at things – even tragedy – with a sense of irony. There’s some truth in it;...

Suddenly, she employed those very English weapons: devious good manners and a rapid change of subject.

Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

Christ has no body now on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours,Yours are the eyes through which to look out Christ’s compassion to the worldYours are the feet with which...

There are few things more mysterious than endings. I mean, for example, when did the Greek gods end, exactly? Was there a day when Zeus waved magisterially down from Olympus and Aphrodite and her lover...

When one has no character, one HAS to apply a method. Here it did wonders incontrovertibly, and I am living on the site of one of the greatest crimes in human history.

My mouth was dry. Whispers carried on the wind as the maids around me bunched together in small groups, hysterical, morbid. I thought: who will clean the mess?

Senhor Uhtred! – Como sempre, Willibald reagiu à minha provocação. – Esse peixe – ele apontou o dedo trêmulo na direção dos ossos – foi um dos dois que Nosso Senhor usou para alimentar 5...

When Maimonides says that the Messiah will come but that ‘he may tarry,’ we see the origin of every Jewish shrug from Spinoza to Woody Allen.

Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility–I.M: Never mind what YOU’VE DEMONSTRATED!–I’m starving, said the voice, and the night is–chilly for a man without clothes.

He was the hardest person to figure out I had ever met, which was saying something. I knew girls, after all….

We’re not obsessed by anything, you see,” insisted Ford.”…””And that’s the deciding factor. We can’t win against obsession. They care, we don’t. They win.””I care about lots of things,” said Slartibartfast, his voice trembling partly...

That’s the beautiful thing about innocence; even monsters have a pocketful of childhood memories with which to seek comfort with.

But it was a matter of great consolation to her, that what brought evil to herself would bring good to her sister; and Elinor, on the other hand, suspecting that it would not be in...

I still couldn’t imagine that she was really, truly pregnant; maybe this was an hysterical pregnancy. But Sarah was never hysterical. Enthusiastic, yes, ironic on occasion. I couldn’t imagine a doctor saying, “No, it’s just...

So where does the name Adam’s apple come from? Most people say that it is from the notion that this bump was caused by the forbidden fruit getting stuck in the throat of Adam in...

The thing about changing the world… Once you do it, the world’s all different.

I don’t get you people. You watch the Godfather on television and tons of people are getting shot and stabbed to death, blood splattering everywhere and it is entertaining. But, when they killed a horse,...

I can’t help but think that if she was going to kill herself, she might as well have done it earlier. Perhaps when I was a toddler. Or better yet, an infant. It certainly would...

Put something new on the table and everyone wants a piece of it.

Look, Laszlo. I’ll have the dentist with me, and I don’t want to alarm her any more than necessary. So take Vanna out of the backseat and stick her in the trunk.”Shanna halted. Her mouth...

For the whole earth is the tomb of famous men; not only are they commemorated by columns and inscriptions in their own country, but in foreign lands there dwells also an unwritten memorial of them,...

Everyone Deserves An Equal Footing.

War is essential for peace.

It might seem to you that living in the woods on a riverbank would remove you from the modern world. But not if the river is navigable, as ours is. On pretty weekends in the...

The man might have died in a fit; but then the jewels are missing,” mused the Inspector, “Ha! I have a theory. These flashes come upon me at times… What do you think of this,...

During the first day, curious at having outsiders among them, a long stream of inmates came over and talked with me. Remarkably, according to what they told me, nearly every inmate in the prison didn’t...

Personally I know only one person who wrote about utopia. Afterwards he was executed. I suppose it’s not my genre.

Georgie, I’ve got it,” she said. “I’ve guessed what it means.”Now though Georgie was devoted to his Lucia, he was just as devoted to inductive reasoning, and Daisy Quantock was, with the exception of himself,...

From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.

The irony of the human heart is that it’s tormented both by the presence and absence of it’s own soul’s counterpart.

The definition of irony – A Pope who refuses to give law enforcement the names of hundreds (or maybe thousands) of predatory homosexual pedophile priests around the world, then claiming that gay marriage will be...

If I had a reader and he had read all I have written so far of my adventures, there would be certainly no need to inform him that I am not created for any sort...

My mind went back to that picture in the obstetrics book. A cow standing in the middle of a gleaming floor while a sleek veterinary surgeon in a spotless parturition overall inserted his arm to...

While appreciating the beauty around her, Eden considered the darkness that lay ahead.