Education is what they equip you with; just in case your dream doesn’t workout.

Being shy is a symptom of a low self-esteem.

Employment is an employee’s kissing of an employer’s ass. A salary is the employer’s pretense to be cleaning his ass.

A phone call should be a convenience to the caller, not an inconvenience to the called.

You know a man is interesting when you forget to notice how expensive — or cheap — his clothes are.

An enlightened thinker does not waste his precious time thinking about what others think of what he thinks.

With homework, school prepares students for overtime. With reports, it prepares them for payday.

Though you can love what you do not master, you cannot master what you do not love.

I will only start taking book reviews seriously from the day that books are able to review readers.

For the most expensive way to realize an orgasm, men open their wallets. For the cheapest, they close their eyes.

Some marry because they are in love. Others marry to have sex … without the guilt.

For their holidays: the rich’s kids travel the world; the poor’s kids roam around their grandparents’ yard.

The easiest way to make money is to be funny. The easiest way to be regarded as funny is to have money.

You know you made it, when people you know, tell people they know, that you know them.

Courtship is an activity whereby one losses oneself … whilst trying to win someone’s love.

Everybody is talking about the Law of Attraction. Nobody is talking about the Law of Action.

Most people say that Shakespeare rocked merely because most people say that Shakespeare rocked.

With regards to getting laid and getting AIDS: Being interesting can be an interesting guy’s downfall.

Masturbation = Imagination + Activity. Worry = Imagination + Negativity.

Using money in one’s attempt to put an end to poverty is like using a border in one’s attempt to put an end to xenophobia.

When a man’s bank balance becomes too small, his woman flees. For a man to do the same, his woman’s body — or vagina — has to do the opposite.

You know you made it, when your friends tell their friends that you are their friend.

A tomboy is a bisexual girl’s dream lover.

Spam is a waste of the receivers’ time, and, a waste of the sender’s optimism.

Intellectually curious men become generalists. Intellectually lazy men settle for being specialists.

Tomorrow is like ‘there.’ Once you get ‘there,’ it is called ‘here.’ So, technically, life is a set of Todays.

Chomie’ is South African homosexual men’s unofficial name.