The doctors agreed: He was going crazy…they didn’t think it had anything to do with the war. They were sure Billy was going to pieces because his father had thrown him into the deep end...

Human beings will be happier – not when they cure cancer or get to Mars or eliminate racial prejudice or flush Lake Erie but when they find ways to inhabit primitive communities again. That’s my...

I want to congratulate librarians,…who, all over this country, have staunchly resisted anti-democratic bullies who have tried to remove certain books from their shelves, and have refused to reveal to thought police the names of...

To be is to do – SocratesTo do is to be – SartreDo Be Do Be Do – Sinatra

What he meant, of course, was that there would always be wars, that they were as easy to stop as glaciers. I believe that, too.And even if wars didn’t keep coming like glaciers, there would...

Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.”[From the preface.]

It was a war of reason against barbarism, supposedly, with the issues at stake on such a high plane that most of our feverish fighters had no idea why they were fighting—other than that the...

Pretty, was she?””Pretty?” he echoed. “Mister, when I see my first lady angel, if God ever sees fit to show me one, it’ll be her wings and not her face that’ll make my mouth fall...

Q: What is wrong with the world?A: Everybody pays attention to pictures of things. Nobody pays attention to things themselves.

Billy took off his tri-focals and his coat and his necktie and his shoes, and he closed the venetian blinds and then the drapes, and he lay down on the outside of the coverlet. But...

Tiek uzskatīts, ka pēc apkaušanas jāvalda kapa klusumam, un valda jau arī, tikai putni klaigā.

Sons of suicides seldom do well.

He was seemingly born not only with a gift for language, but with a particularly nasty clock which makes him go crazy every three years or so.

Vera had not sensed my approach. She was peering into the instrument and turning knobs with child-like seriousness and ineptitude. It was obvious that she had never used a microscope before. I stole closer to...

He was looking for programs on which he might be allowed to appear. But it was too early in the evening for programs that allowed people with peculiar opinions to speak out. It was only...

We are what we imagine ourselves to be.

Being American is to eat a lot of beef steak, and boy, we’ve got a lot more beef steak than any other country, and that’s why you ought to be glad you’re an American. And...

Well finish your story anyway.”Where was I?”The bubonic plague. The bulldozer was stalled by corpses.”Oh, yes. Anyway, one sleepless night I stayed up with Father while he worked. It was all we could do to...

When a Tralfamadorian sees a corpse, all he thinks is that the dead person is in bad condition in the particular moment, but that the same person is just fine in plenty of other moments....

I think about my education sometimes. I went to the University of Chicago for awhile after the Second World War. I was a student in the Department of Anthropology. At that time they were teaching...

But I have to say this in defense of humankind: In no matter what era in history, including the Garden of Eden, everybody just got here. And, except for the Garden of Eden, there were...

If people think nature is their friend then they sure don’t need an enemy.

profanity and obscenity entitle people who don’t want unpleasant information to close their ears and eyes to you.

You can’t just eat good food. You’ve got to talk about it too. And you’ve got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.

If you can’t write clearly, you probably don’t think nearly as well as you think you do.

The very best thing you can be in life is a teacher, provided you are crazy in love with what you teach, and that your classes consist of eighteen students or fewer. Classes of eighteen...

The unity in every second of all time and all wandering mankind, all wandering womankind, all wandering children.

Thus did a handful of rapacious citizens come to control all that was worth controlling in America. Thus was the savage and stupid and entirely inappropriate and unnecessary and humorless American class system created. Honest,...

Only one English word adequately describes his transformation of the islands from worthless to priceless: magical.

A Man Without a Country

We are impossibly conceited animals, and actually dumb as heck. Ask any teacher. You don’t even have to as a teacher. Ask anybody. Dogs and cats are smarter than we are.

Do you realize that all great literature — “Moby Dick,” “Huckleberry Finn,” “A Farewell to Arms,” “The Scarlet Letter,” “The Red Badge of Courage,” “The Iliad and The Odyssey,” “Crime and Punishment,” the Bible, and...

When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.

Or they’ll talk about fear, which we used to call politics- job politics, social politics, government politics

I am eternally grateful for my knack of finding in great books, some of them very funny books, reason enough to feel honored to be alive, no matter what else might be going on.

This has been my greatest challenge: because the current reality now seems so unreal, it’s hard to make nonfiction seem believable. But you, my friend [Michael Moore], are able to do that.

Literature is the only art in which the audience performs the score.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth,” the long out-of-print science fiction writer went on.

To an unmoored, middle-aged man like myself, it was heart-breaking. That’s all right. I like to have my heart broken.

Everybody who is alive is a survivor, and everybody who is dead isn’t,” I said.”So everybody alive must have the Survivor’s Syndrome. It’s that or death. I am so damn sick of people telling me...

The occupying Russians, when they discovered that we were Americans, embraced us and congratulated us on the complete desolation our planes had wrought. We accepted their congratulations with good grace and proper modesty, but I...

What is the secret of life?’ I asked.‘I forget,’ said Sandra.‘Protein,’ the bartender declared. ‘They found something out about protein.‘‘Yeah,’ said Sandra, ‘that’s it.

Almost every war ends, properly, with its veterans feeling deceived and pointless and gullible, with their being persuaded that all participants were equally vile.

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.

The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.

But people didn’t have to pay as much attention to the awful truth. As the living legend of the cruel tyrant in the city and the gentle holy man in the jungle grew, so, too,...

I think it can be tremendously refreshing if a creator of literature has something on his mind other than the history of literature so far. Literature should not disappear up its own asshole, so to...

He didn’t know all that much about how the machinery worked anyway. Such knowledge was for specialists. In war, as in love, he was a fearless, happy-go-lucky adventurer.

He dabbed at his tuxedo with a damp rag, and the fungi came away easily. “Hate to do this, Bill,” he said of the fungi he was murdering. “Fungi have as much right to life...

My gosh,” I said, “another human being.””You’ll never know how human,” she said.”Maybe I will,” I said. “I could try.”I did try, and I do try, and I give you the toast of a happy...