There are things you forget naturally-computer passwords, your father’s continuing relationship with life-and then there are things you can’t forget that you wish you could.

Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it’s funny how sleep comes all on it’s own.

There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.

He has a passport,” my classmates would whisper. “Quick, let’s run before he judges us!

I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn’t like it, and changed.

Underneath my window, there were huge groups of people running in the streets. They tried to overturn a car. So the woman opened her window and tried to throw water on them. So then they...

Like all of my friends, she’s a lousy judge of character.

Mr. Mancini had a singular talent for making me uncomfortable. He forced me to consider things I’d rather not think about – the sex of my guitar, for instance. If I honestly wanted to put...

If you read someone else’s diary, you get what you deserve.

Each one of us is left to choose our own quality of life and take pleasure where we find it with the understanding that, like Mom used to say, sooner or later something’s gonna get...

All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.

I’d think it strange that the boardinghouse attracted both him and me, but that’s what cheap places do — draw in people with no money. An apartment of my own was unthinkable at that time...

I’m not a parent myself, but I think the best solution at this point is to slap that child across the face. It won’t stop crying, but at least now it’ll be doing it for...

Shit is the tofu of cursing.

He die one day, and then he go above of my head to live with your father.”He weared the long hair, and after he died, the first day he come back here for to say...

On my fifth trip to France I limited myself to the words and phrases that people actually use. From the dog owners I learned “Lie down,” “Shut up,” and “Who shit on this carpet?” The...

Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on the door of some seemingly ordinary home or office. The door opens, and the person holding the...

[I] recall thinking that the computer would never advance much further than this. Call me na ”,ve, but I seemed to have underestimated the universal desire to sit in a hard plastic chair and stare...

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

Sex,” the driver said, “Has no one ever told you about it?”I took the New York Times from my carry-on bag and pretended to read, an act that apparently explained it all.”Ohhh,” the driver said,...

I’d tried to straighten him out, but there’s only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer.

Nobody likes having a problem, but having a convoluted, bureaucratic one is even more galling.