More and more, it feels like I’m doing a really bad impersonation of myself.

If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better movie.

Portland is quickly becoming one of those lovely, lush Third World countries where kinda-rich people retire with their money.

My favorite books to give or get are short story collections. And always paperbacks because they are easy to carry as you travel.

In books, you can just wallow in dialogue, and you can just wallow in written words. In screenplays, every line has to serve the purpose of the line that’s implied before it and the line...

It seems that so much writing is being done in the nineteenth-century model, where every connection has to be thoroughly explained.

I come from generations of farmers.

Tyler and me at the edge of the roof, the gun in my mouth, I’m wondering how clean this gun is.

No matter how much you think you love somebody, you’ll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close.

When you’re thinking about the rest of your life, you’re never really thinking more than a couple years down the road.

Only in death will we have our own names since only in death are we no longer part of the effort. In death we become heroes.

Help me give up my addiction to Hope.

Penny wanted this kind of attention from the world. She wanted people everywhere to know her name and to love her. There, she’d admitted it aloud. But she couldn’t do anything that would justify such...

When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?

She kept hoping that something would happen to rescue her from her own small-scale, predictable dreams.

[W]hat makes earth feel like Hell is our expectation that it should feel like Heaven.

As human beings, our first commandment is:Something needs to happen

You can tell a more over-the-top incredible story if you use a nonfiction form.

Men are destroyed for being rebellious, and women destroy themselves by failing to be rebellious. Unless you can make that next jump to either getting along with people or resisting people, you are ultimately destroying...

I think America is just so in love with conflict.

I love the power of words – no music or special effects – and I want to demonstrate that power.

In 2008, while the film version of my book ‘Choke’ was coming to market, my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. That meant that I had to appear in public to promote a comedy about...

Portland in particular is a cheap enough place to live that you can still develop your passion – painting, writing, music. People seem less status-conscious. Even wealthy people buy second-hand clothes and look a little...

I haven’t had television since 1991, and it definitely influences me. As a child of the 1970s, I couldn’t hold a narrative in my head; I was lucky if I could hold a joke in...

I used rebellion as a way to hide out. We use criticism as a fake participation.

Hay gente que nace humana. Al resto nos cuesta toda la vida conseguirlo.

Music is crucial. Beyond no way can I overstress this fact. Let’s say you’re southbound on the interstate, cruising alone in the middle lane, listening to AM radio. Up alongside comes a tractor trailer of...

some soap opera, you know, real people pretending to be fake people with made-up problems being watched by real people to forget their real problems.

It sounds as if you’d like to be God.

These flowers will be rotten in a couple hours. Birds will crap on them. The smoke here will make them stink, and tomorrow a bulldozer will probably run over them, but for right now they...

It’s pathetic how we can’t live with the things we don’t understand. How we need everything labeled and explained and deconstructed. Even if it’s for sure unexplainable. Even God.

People had been working for so many years to make the world a safe, organized place. Nobody realized how boring it would become. With the whole world property-lined and speed-limited and zoned and taxed and...

It’s okay if there isn’t a God anymore, but I still want to respect something. I don’t want to be the center of my own universe,

The stamp is something left over from an inpatient hospital program. In some other program RELEASED used to mean a client was set free. Now it means a client is dead. Nobody wanted to special-order...

That’s pretty much how we get through our own lives, watching television. Smoking crap. Self-medicating. Redirecting our attention. Jacking off. Denial.

The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage.

Masochism is a valuable job skill.

Maybe it’s our sins that give God consolation when he finally has to give us cancer.

We don’t see a lot of models for male social interaction. There’s sports and barn raisings.

A big reason why I started writing is I felt that fiction had stopped evolving. All other entertainments were getting better, constantly, as technology allowed. Movies. Video games. Music.

Every author has to eventually write a food book.

I don’t care what they do with my book so long as the flippin check clears.

Scratching Yogi’s ears Michelle says ‘That’s just part of his job, the comforting. That’s what I mean by the bhatisvata. That he’s more concerned with comforting and helping, even more than his own well-being.” This...

Crying is right at hand in the smothering dark, closed inside someone else, when you see how everything you can ever accomplish will end up as trash.

After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting.

A girl calls and asks, “Does it hurt very much to die?””Well, sweetheart,” I tell her, “yes, but it hurts a lot more to keep living.

Centuries ago, sailors on long voyages used to leave a pair of pigs on every deserted island. Or they’d leave a pair of goats. Either way, on any future visit, the island would be a...

Sex pretty much cures everything.

Prepare to evacuate soul in five, in four, three, two, one.

When you understand, that what you’re telling is just a story. It isn’t happening anymore. When you realize the story you’re telling is just words, when you can just crumble up and throw your past...