I’d like to spend money on a wallet, but if I spent money on a wallet, I’d have none left over to fill it with. At least my heart is full of love, even though...

I long to belong like a midget longs to be long. Footlong hotdogs are 12 inches too short to take seriously, and I vote with my wallet. Sadly, there are no refunds in politics.

I had a dream about you. Dinner for two turned into dinner for three when you told me you were pregnant. I was excited, but a little nervous, because we were at a fancy restaurant...

The way to a woman’s heart is through your wallet.

She stole my heart, like a pickpocket. And when my wallet also went missing, I knew it was love.

I cried because I had no wallet, until I met a man who had no money. I don’t know why he had no money, because that man stole my wallet.

Every time I look at my wallet; I don’t care how much money is there, I just want to know, does it make for this time food?

I had a dream about you, you invited me shopping and I was so excited at the thought we were having a “day date” after we entered the mall you had dropped your wallet and...

You lose a wallet or keys or something and you notice in a second, but your life can go missing and you don’t even know it.

Incredibly, he wore an incredulous look on his face like he had no idea what she was insinuating. Did she just accuse him of murder? I hope she did, because I have no alibi, but...

Pride tells me to give it back, but common sense tells pride to shut up, have a joint and relax. I shrug and put the note into my wallet.

Buy one pair of pants and get a wallet full of cash for free. While I’ll admit they do have a coffee stain on the crotch, I can assure you it is caffeinated. Licking it...

Sometimes in the quest for enlightenment the only thing that gets lighter is your wallet.

third wheel,” I rode my tricycle to the restaurant where they were having their first date. I didn’t bring my wallet, so I hope they don’t mind paying for my dinner too. Ah, but that’s...