Spaghetti for brains albino idea weasel.”And that was when I stabbed her with a piece of garlic toast. It seemed like the most appropriate response. The police didn’t seem to agree, and I could tell...

When I sing, it sounds like I’m gargling spaghetti. Is it any wonder that women lust after me and mail me their panties? (Mail to: Jarod Kintz/12358 Fibonacci Way/Jacksonville, Fl 32258)

I just hope the woman I invited over to dinner shares our insightful perspective.

My penis smells like pasta. Also, I personally tested it out, and your spaghetti’s not too hot now, if you want to eat it.

Thinking about spaghetti that boils eternally but is never done is a sad, sad thing.

When faced with something I fear, I tend to eat spaghetti.

Sergio Leone was a big influence on me because of the spaghetti westerns.

Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.

I’m making naked, and I’m making it by hand and other body parts. Next I’ll be making spaghetti, if my first cooking show hasn’t been canceled by then.

My handshake is as firm as cooked spaghetti. So, do you prefer your introductions with Alfredo or marinara sauce?