For such small heads, little kids seem to have the biggest brains. No disrespect to midgets.

I was short staffed. But that’s what happens when all your employees are midgets. I make love like spicy rice.

Easy mistake to make,” Jem said.

Actually, she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel.

Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that.

The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK.

Midgets smell like small, and I’m in the mood for a medium, like a large coffee from Starbucks.

I’ll make your heart melt like a puddle of love. Then I’ll swim across it—nude. Pricing for birthday parties does include the midgets.