No more men. I swear it. They’re nothing but trouble. Them, and their damned penises.

With a shaking hand, he reached for his cock, and stroked it slowly from base to tip. Clearly, prayer time was over.

Um. I’m really good at first aid. Like, the best.” He was the god of healing, after all. He’d better be good at fucking first aid!

Apollo. I’m the fucking Lord of the Underworld. Do you honestly think I need to get my jollies by lying to others? I can think of so many better things to do.

There was something about the man that was throwing her right off, and it had everything to do with the boner in his pants.

God Lord, give me strength. Please keep the local firefighters away from me. Keep me out of the path of hardened abs and tall men in uniform, for they are bastards, one and all. Amen

Lord, she really hoped that was his penis and that Greek gods didn’t pad their briefs.

I’m so not okay.

It was his vocation to pleasure as many women as possible, in pursuit of his own pleasure. It was as close to a job as he got.

You can’t fuck a statue. At least not at that angle. You’d at least have to tip it onto its back first, and as a conservator, I can’t recommend it.