I finally decided what I want to be when I grow up – late.

I learned to smile, avoiding happiness advice.

People always switched on turn me off.

He who laughs last laughs … doesn’t get it.

Ninety percent if life is fifty percent indecisive. The rest is confusing.

Honest I’m a liar. Believe me?

I was accused of always acting superior. Always means being, not acting.

I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I’d write a check to buy it back.

I’m all groan up in America.

Our atheist thoughts go out to his family following their loss.

I chase my dreams through nightmares.

If you want to commit suicide why tell anyone? They’d ruin everything.

Dreams don’t come true, they are true.

I dreamed of being special then awoke to be unique.

Dad got furious when we lied to him. No, Dad got furious then we lied to him.

He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword … unless he’s a general.

The shot glass is half drunk.

Where have you been all of your life?

My secret to maintaining a youthful appearance? Immaturity.

Nice days are more unsafe. There are more of them.

Peace ain’t worth fighting for.

Psych ward clocks, depressed, nudge like anxious calendars.

The glass is completely full…of shit.

Psychosis is person less persona, raving sincerity.

I love objectivity when mine.

Babies are never suicidal. Hard lives, not hard boiled eggs do that.

The brain is unreliable. It relies on lies.

The fine line between genius and madness is a punch line. Duck, you idiot!

Honesty is the best insurance policy.

It’s not how I take tragic news but how I make tragic views that unscrews me.

Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world.

Nostalgia was never what it used to be.

All surgery and no makeup make Jack a dull girl.

You can’t stop a man from stopping himself.