As long as I’m not living out of a suitcase, I’m happy.

My kitchen sink has no truck attached. My love needs a waterproof suitcase in these Days of Desert and Dessert. Who are you going to come running to when the Ice Cream Man melts?

I’m covered in fish hair! I have a dwarf shaped like a suitcase that I carry everywhere. Women tell me I love too deeply. Wrong! I love too widely.

They should make suitcases shaped like human bodies, for discretely transporting dead cadavers. And I should get a friends and family discount.

I am three forks away from eating all your food with two homeless guys. It’s too bad I only have a suitcase full of spoons and a bucket of soy sauce.

Here, why don’t I carry that for you?” I was in stupid love.