I don’t even drink coffee.

The Book of Life, I’m still writing it—both literally and literarily. So far I’ve written the Table of Contents. Right now it’s more of a coffee table.

I like instant gratification. It’s like instant coffee, only it won’t keep you up all night.

Many people claim coffee inspires them, but, as everybody knows, coffee only makes boring people even more boring.

We rode on the horse like we were in love and drunk on coffee. But that’s silly, because we weren’t drunk and in love. We were just drunk, and not from the coffee either.

I drink coffee like I make love, only I’m more awake with the coffee.

I drink coffee the way other men put on their pants—only after they’ve paid the hooker.

I don’t drink coffee. Sorry, I don’t mean to burden you with my personal problems.

His clothes were clean, but his mustache was dirty. He must have used it as a brush to scrub his pants. I’ll bet his coffee tastes like freedom.

My hands fell asleep, so I washed them with hot coffee. Then I had donuts for breakfast, by way of spinning circles in my car and burning rubber in the parking garage of my office...

But Shakespeare never drank coffee. Nor did Julius Caesar, or Socrates. Alexander the Great conquered half the world without even a café latte to perk him up. The pyramids were designed and constructed without a...

I never said I liked coffee better than sex. I said I’d had it more.

I stopped for coffee and there was a guy under the bridge. He had no coat and was cold. I offered him a coffee but he said he just needed to get warm so I...

Amigo mío, dado el abismo que separa todas tus experiencias de todas las mías, lo más cerca que te puedo situar de ese sabor tan único es decirte que los libros, así, por término medio,...

Our country is a place where hope can be born and great companies, organizations and non-profits can spring up from an idea birthed on the back of a coffee-shop napkin.

Whoever had opened that first Starbucks in Seattle should be shot.