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British  Quotes
Don’t tell me about the Press. I know *exactly* who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by the people who think they run the country. The Guardian is read by people who think...

—Antony Jay

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The British have a unique relationship with horses. They are etched into our landscape in chalk, they have been written about, painted, sung about, celebrated and gambled upon for centuries.

—Clare Balding

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I’m proud of being British, but I think our aristocracy is overrated.

—Paloma Faith

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I had zero idea of what I was doing.. I honestly had no idea where to start. All I knew was I had something I craved to say.. I wanted to create art that lived...

—scott mcgoldrick

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His work was so great that it cannot be compassed in a few words. His death is one of the greatest losses ever to occur to British science.{Describing Ernest Rutherford upon his death at age...

—his

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British actors behave like Europeans; they are also extremely well trained.

—Jean-Jacques Annaud

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…But the Mahommedan religion increases, instead of lessening, the fury of intolerance. It was originally propagated by the sword, and ever since, its votaries have been subject, above the people of all other creeds, to...

—Winston S.

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I inherited a pound from my British uncle. I’d have rather gotten a dollar, because what do I want with an animal shelter?

—Jarod Kintz

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The British playwright Nina Raine is one of her generation’s most promising talents.

—John Lahr

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Guilt and misery shrink, by a natural instinct, from public notice: they court privacy and solitude: and even in their choice of a grave will sometimes sequester themselves from the general population of the churchyard,...

—Thomas de

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Amazing what the British do with language; the nuances of politeness. The world’s great diplomats, surely.

—Anne Rice

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The advantages of a hereditary Monarchy are self-evident. Without some such method of prescriptive, immediate and automatic succession, an interregnum intervenes, rival claimants arise, continuity is interrupted and the magic lost. Even when Parliament had...

—Harold Nicholson

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I am very proud to be British. I’m very conscious of carrying my country with me wherever I go. I feel I need to represent it well.

—Julie Andrews

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Fuck. You. It’s foot… Yeah, it’s you.

—Vaughn R.

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Unlike the British we are not going to express our views without the necessary investigations.

—Hamid-Reza Asefi

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This week, Zuma was quoted as saying, ‘When the British came to our country, they said everything we are doing was barbaric, was wrong, inferior in whatever way.’ But the serious critique of Zuma is...

—Mark Gevisser

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We worked on a few things that we’ve been working on from the British Open onwards with the swing, … What we’ve done from there is incorporate a little bit more shot-making, picturing shots a...

—Stephen Ames

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British
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Sometimes it was like Neil was from an alien planet, where people never asked for or shared anything emotional without deeply apologizing first. He assured me that he was simply British. And that we Americans,...

—Amanda Palmer

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If my hip isn’t better I won’t go to the Senior British Open and that’ll be the end of the streak, … The plane ride over there will kill me.

—Dana Quigley

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I once heard someone say morality was method. Do you hold with that? I suppose you wouldn’t. You would say that morality was vested in the aim, I expect. Difficult to know what one’s aims...

—John le Carre

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Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn’t

—Stephen Leacock

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If I did take away Silverstone and a British Grand Prix, I’d be seen as a bad guy but that wouldn’t bother me.

—Bernie Ecclestone

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As I railed on and on, I became increasingly energied and excited by my own misery and misanthropy until I reached a kind of orgasm of negativity.’… The Brits don’t merely enjoy misery, they get...

—Eric Weiner

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A selection of quotes from The Night of Harrison Monk’s Death (Jane Hetherington’s Adventures in Detection: 1)”Is this one of the more unusual cases of safe-breaking you’ve been asked to investigate, Mrs Hetherington?””Remember your private...

—Nina Jon

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I would never advise shooing away a good idea.

—Phoebe Stone

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Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

—Douglas Adams

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Virginians, like the British, did ceremonies very well. No one ever did anything inappropriate.

—Larry Sabato

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The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.

—Quentin Crisp

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The very sight of a daffodil still makes me shiver, because spring in the north of England is always so bitter.

—Bea Davenport

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Do your parents know you’re here?’ asked the lady at social Services. ‘No,’ I said, ‘but I want to know about children’s homes.’ I had to stand on my toes to see over the reception...

—Constance Briscoe

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BlackBritishCaribbean
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The word bollocks seems strong, punk rock, and imposing, but in reality, bollocks is always too tame to make much of an impact.

—Jennifer Harrison

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All the cliches of glamorous sophistication have little appeal to me. Do I want to live the British version of ‘Dynasty?’ No thanks!

—Sade Adu

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BritishThanksVersion
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I think the British have the distinction above all other nations of being able to put new wine into old bottles without bursting them.

—Clement Attlee

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However British you may be, I am more British still.

—Henry James

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I’m actually going in to ER as the new British intern.

—Parminder Nagra

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As a kid in British Columbia, going back a long way, I learned to skate.

—Steve Yzerman

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The mice were furious.”[…]”Oh yes,” said the old man mildly.”Yes well so I expect were the dogs and cats and duckbilled platypuses, but…””Ah, but they hadn’t paid for it you see, had they?””Look,” said Arthur,...

—Douglas Adams

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BritishHumourScience-Fiction
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If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn’t swim.

—Margaret Thatcher

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If they wanted their shit stirred, then stirred their shit was jolly well going to be.

—Stephen Clarke

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The Times is a paper which is seldom found in any hands but those of the highly educated.

—Arthur Conan Doyle

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I have flown in just about everything, with all kinds of pilots in all parts of the world – British, French, Pakistani, Iranian, Japanese, Chinese – and there wasn’t a dime’s worth of difference between...

—Chuck Yeager

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One morning, as he sat at his desk, he heard the sound of a horse’s hooves on the path outside his house. He stepped out on to the verandah. There, on a tall grey horse,...

—P.B. North

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AfricaAuthorBritish
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My brothers and sisters of America, there is not the least shadow of hope that India can ever be Christianised. After two hundred years of vain efforts and of spending millions of dollars with the...

—Virchand Gandhi

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There is nobody as hopelessly vulgar as a British aristocrat…

—Charles Finch

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A British declaration be taken against Martinez for ‘capturing and robbing us.

—George Vancouver

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AgainstBritishTaken
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When I began visiting Bordeaux in 1979, only a handful of writers were there to taste the wines in the spring (and nearly all were British).

—

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BritishSpringWriters
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The Americans, who are the most efficient people on the earth, have carried [phrase-making] to such a height of perfection and have invented so wide a range of pithy and hackneyed phrases that they can...

—W. Somerset

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A five-week sand blizzard?” said Deep Thought haughtily. “You ask this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big Bang itself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff.

—Douglas Adams

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Yer a good lad, Atticus, mowin’ me lawn and killin’ what Brits come around.

—Kevin Hearne

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There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by the existance of a royal family, by the volume of traffic that passed...

—Stephen Fry

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BritishHumorSatire
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