Do your parents know you’re here?’ asked the lady at social Services. ‘No,’ I said, ‘but I want to know about children’s homes.’ I had to stand on my toes to see over the reception...

The word bollocks seems strong, punk rock, and imposing, but in reality, bollocks is always too tame to make much of an impact.

All the cliches of glamorous sophistication have little appeal to me. Do I want to live the British version of ‘Dynasty?’ No thanks!

I think the British have the distinction above all other nations of being able to put new wine into old bottles without bursting them.

However British you may be, I am more British still.

I’m actually going in to ER as the new British intern.

As a kid in British Columbia, going back a long way, I learned to skate.

The mice were furious.”[…]”Oh yes,” said the old man mildly.”Yes well so I expect were the dogs and cats and duckbilled platypuses, but…””Ah, but they hadn’t paid for it you see, had they?””Look,” said Arthur,...

If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn’t swim.

If they wanted their shit stirred, then stirred their shit was jolly well going to be.