The Minister of Transport issued this appeal to motorists: Can anyone give him a lift to Leicester?

I think the nice thing for us has been that every 10 years there’s been a complete change in technology. It’s like buying your own records again.

Life doesn’t make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy’s job is to point out that it doesn’t make sense, and that it doesn’t make much difference anyway.

He plays a great banjo, too.

The lovely thing for us is, because it is digital, it can still look really fresh and new. Some people don’t know that we’re just old farts.

At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy...

Nudge nudge, know what I mean, say no more

We’re all over 60. I’m sorry to say this, but comedy is really a young man’s game. It’s sort of about what you had to say when you were fresh and young. And I’m perfectly...

Sind sie vorbestraft? Du lieber Himmel ich wußte gar nicht, dass das immer noch nötig ist.” Britischer Witz über die Einreise nach Australien

I think he’s the most intelligent man I’ve ever met. Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy.

It was extraordinary. I mean, for us it was just an amazement that people were watching it in Dallas of all places and were loving it.

Mere lack of evidence, of course, is no reason to denounce a theory. Look at intelligent design. The fact that it is bollocks hasn’t stopped a good many people from believing in it. Darwinism itself...

And we poisoned their minds.

But we were wrong and we were amazed.

As long as there are innocent nickels to be made from the gullible, Python-starved public, I shall be out there dressed in silly frocks and singing filthy lyrics. I’m coming your way in search of...

A lot has been said about politicians; some of it complimentary, but most of it accurate

Because we hate each other. I’m perfectly happy to get drunk with the rest of them. I was just in London, and we had a really spectacular dinner. But I think it should go no...

There was often antagonism and chair throwing and stamping of feet, which is kind of a healthy thing to do when you’re arguing about what’s funny. That healthy tension was something that held the group...

I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That’s what I grew up with — doing television, doing shows every week.

George once said to me “If we’d known we were going to be The Beatles we’d have tried harder.”

You look just like you!

No day of my life passes without someone saying the words ‘Monty Python’ to me. It’s not bad.

It took all of 15 minutes, but then I have my David Attenborough voice down and there wasn’t a lot to do. Most of the time was spent waiting for the guys in Los Angeles...

They have to get their own personal best. It’s called my personal best. … There was one or two things everybody wanted, and we sort of agreed to let some people have them.

We’re like his test audience. It’s a nightmare for Steve, a terrifying experience. The fact that he’s done it before doesn’t stop the angst.

I think the special thing about Python is that it’s a writers’ commune. The writers are in charge. The writers decide what the material is.

We’ve discovered that the less we do, the more money we make.

Bear in mind the simple rule, X squared to the power of two minus five over the seven point eight three times nineteen is approximately equal to the cube root of MCC squared divided by...

This was our first chance to get a proper, grown-up TV show.

I love being an older comic now. It’s like being an old soccer or an old baseball player. You’re in the Hall of Fame and it’s nice, but you’re no longer that person in the...

We were rewarded by owning our own masters [of the programs]. We established an American law principle that the creators do have rights over and above what the networks tell you is standards and practices.

To me, the musical is best when it’s a musical comedy, … So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that’s what the musical does best.