It’s this simple law, which every writer knows, of taking two opposites and putting them in a room together. I love anything with Cartman and Butters at the same time, it’s great.

It was exactly the same on the South Park movie really too. There’s lots of violence in that too, but it always came down to anything sexual… They don’t care about anything else.

I spend shockingly little time thinking about real-world stuff.

Me and Matt love to argue, but in general our sense of humor is pretty much alike.

When I was a kid, to me, the Evergreen Players were the big time.

All the religions are super funny to me.

I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny.

We’re the guys who, if someone says you really shouldn’t do an episode making fun of Scientologists, we say, ‘Whatever.’ Someone says, ‘They might come try to burn your house down,’ we say, ‘We’ll just...

How many times have you been watching an episode of ‘South Park’ and thought, ‘I’d like to be able to watch this on my television while hooked into my mobile device, which is being controlled...

My fear is that, as soon as I get married and have kids that I’ll kind of do what a lot of people do and suddenly start making, ‘Now I’m gonna make films for kids.’...

Once you have kids, you think like a parent. You get a lot more protective.

I hate puppets so much.

I bought a house for my mom, I bought a house for my dad, I bought a house for my sister.

Even from the very beginning, I didn’t put any money in the stock market.

I was a big Broadway fan for a while.

If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you’ll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup...

No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, ‘Well it’s obvious that...

Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they’re the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be.

So much of what you see now in Hollywood is written and directed by committee, and you can see it.

I have no desire to ever talk to Sean Penn.

I don’t even know where Russia and Mexico are.

I’ve gotten to a point where I wouldn’t direct someone else’s material. It would only be something totally original.

It’s funny because I think a lot of it is simply… We’ve never considered ourselves satirists, but because we’re on Comedy Central and because we’re South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic...

There is nothing we can’t do. So it’s just the fact that we’re doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won’t touch, that we’re satirists.

The problem is we moved to LA… The only way to be punk rock in L.A. is to be a Republican.

We created a brand for ourselves, so that now people can’t get mad at what we do, because then they’re just making of themselves.

I was a big ‘Charlie Brown’ fan as a kid.

I find Mormons adorable.

If somebody actually came to me and said, ‘O.K., this is it: write your last ‘South Park’ episodes,’ I’d be like, ‘No, no, no.’

Love isn’t a decision. It’s a feeling. If we could decide who we loved,it would be much simpler, but much less magical

Most people I know are not hard-core religious people. They are what I would call ‘lightly religious.’ So I don’t buy the notion that we can’t laugh about religion in America.

When you sit down and write a song, you kind of have the idea for the song, and you sit there at the piano and you kinda just write it. And then of course later...

Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas.

Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you’re probably not enjoying it.

Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn’t realize because he’s a turd.

If you’re famous, you suck, just for being famous. People in England totally get that; Americans don’t.

The ‘Beavis and Butt-head’ movie was just a movie-length version of the TV show.

The basis of all reasoning is the mind’s awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself,...

My favorite musical? I don’t. It changes all the time. I’m just a diehard, I’m totally old school, like I’ll sit and watch, if they are re-doing Oklahoma in New York, I will be the...

I would let my kids watch this stuff way before I’d let them watch something like ‘Full House’ that I think would make them stupid.

Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?

My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut.

Doing a musical is like having a kid. It’s out there alive somewhere. It’s not like a movie or a TV show where what we intended is what everyone will see. The kid can act...

Sometimes what’s right isn’t as important as what’s profitable.

If we have a great idea, we’ll go, ‘Oh, this could be a cool movie.’ Or really for us, it’s more like, ‘Oh, this is a really bad idea. Let’s do this. This seems really...

Saying goodbye doesn’t mean anything. It’s the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.

Out of all the ridiculous religion stories – which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous – the silliest one I’ve ever heard is, ‘Yeah, there’s this big, giant universe, and it’s expanding, and it’s all going to...

I was always a very happy, optimistic person.

I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.

We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us.