No, writing musicals is the hardest thing in the world. And it was really funny, because I remember when the South Park movie came out, there were some critics that said, ‘Well it’s obvious that...

If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you’ll see a homeless person standing in the middle of their nice, beautiful square, holding out a cup...

I have no desire to ever talk to Sean Penn.

Hollywood views regular people as children, and they think they’re the smart ones who need to tell the idiots out there how to be.

So much of what you see now in Hollywood is written and directed by committee, and you can see it.

I’ve gotten to a point where I wouldn’t direct someone else’s material. It would only be something totally original.

I don’t even know where Russia and Mexico are.

There is nothing we can’t do. So it’s just the fact that we’re doing topics like that that other people, especially network TV, won’t touch, that we’re satirists.

It’s funny because I think a lot of it is simply… We’ve never considered ourselves satirists, but because we’re on Comedy Central and because we’re South Park on Comedy Central, we can do any topic...

I was a big ‘Charlie Brown’ fan as a kid.

The problem is we moved to LA… The only way to be punk rock in L.A. is to be a Republican.

We created a brand for ourselves, so that now people can’t get mad at what we do, because then they’re just making of themselves.

If somebody actually came to me and said, ‘O.K., this is it: write your last ‘South Park’ episodes,’ I’d be like, ‘No, no, no.’

I find Mormons adorable.

When you sit down and write a song, you kind of have the idea for the song, and you sit there at the piano and you kinda just write it. And then of course later...

Love isn’t a decision. It’s a feeling. If we could decide who we loved,it would be much simpler, but much less magical

Most people I know are not hard-core religious people. They are what I would call ‘lightly religious.’ So I don’t buy the notion that we can’t laugh about religion in America.

Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn’t realize because he’s a turd.

Bargaining makes you come up with the best ideas.

Any job is a job. If you have to be doing something, then you’re probably not enjoying it.

The ‘Beavis and Butt-head’ movie was just a movie-length version of the TV show.

If you’re famous, you suck, just for being famous. People in England totally get that; Americans don’t.

I would let my kids watch this stuff way before I’d let them watch something like ‘Full House’ that I think would make them stupid.

The basis of all reasoning is the mind’s awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself,...

My favorite musical? I don’t. It changes all the time. I’m just a diehard, I’m totally old school, like I’ll sit and watch, if they are re-doing Oklahoma in New York, I will be the...

Doing a musical is like having a kid. It’s out there alive somewhere. It’s not like a movie or a TV show where what we intended is what everyone will see. The kid can act...

Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?

My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut.

If we have a great idea, we’ll go, ‘Oh, this could be a cool movie.’ Or really for us, it’s more like, ‘Oh, this is a really bad idea. Let’s do this. This seems really...

Sometimes what’s right isn’t as important as what’s profitable.

I was always a very happy, optimistic person.

Saying goodbye doesn’t mean anything. It’s the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.

Out of all the ridiculous religion stories – which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous – the silliest one I’ve ever heard is, ‘Yeah, there’s this big, giant universe, and it’s expanding, and it’s all going to...

In terms of the creative side of it, it’s really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever.

I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.

We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us.

So we’re considering doing a new Christmas album, because there’s been Christmas episodes since then, and maybe finally do the version of ‘The Most Offensive Song Ever’ with lyrics intact.

The only way to be punk rock in L.A. is to be a Republican.

Sean Penn’s really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper.

My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for ‘family home evening,’ and I was like, ‘Why aren’t you people ignoring each other and watching television?’

We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of...

I’ve started confiding in people, other artists mostly, that I hate making ‘South Park,’ and I always have. It’s super stressful. I’m always miserable.

I try not to tune in to politics until it’s two or three months before the election. Till then, it’s like watching preseason football.

We have it, we’re lucky enough that we’ve created a show where it’s not about… a family, or a kid, it’s about a town.

When someone goes, ‘Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,’ there’s not a piece of my body that goes, ‘Sweet!’ That means I did it wrong. I’m just trying to make...

I got into this little habit of architecture and building. I designed a house in Colorado and one in Hawaii. The idea is supposed to be build and sell – but then I can never...

You don’t need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado.

When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, ‘The Dentist.’ I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of...

When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado’s a redneck...

It’s been a fascinating thing because we didn’t really know how to write when we started South Park at all. It’s been like, we’ve just sort of grown up a bit and it’s amazing to...