Jerry Bruckheimer creates comedy, he just doesn’t realize because he’s a turd.

If you’re famous, you suck, just for being famous. People in England totally get that; Americans don’t.

The ‘Beavis and Butt-head’ movie was just a movie-length version of the TV show.

The basis of all reasoning is the mind’s awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself,...

My favorite musical? I don’t. It changes all the time. I’m just a diehard, I’m totally old school, like I’ll sit and watch, if they are re-doing Oklahoma in New York, I will be the...

I would let my kids watch this stuff way before I’d let them watch something like ‘Full House’ that I think would make them stupid.

Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in womb?

My dad was just a big Joseph Campbell nut.

Doing a musical is like having a kid. It’s out there alive somewhere. It’s not like a movie or a TV show where what we intended is what everyone will see. The kid can act...

Sometimes what’s right isn’t as important as what’s profitable.

If we have a great idea, we’ll go, ‘Oh, this could be a cool movie.’ Or really for us, it’s more like, ‘Oh, this is a really bad idea. Let’s do this. This seems really...

Saying goodbye doesn’t mean anything. It’s the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it.

Out of all the ridiculous religion stories – which are greatly, wonderfully ridiculous – the silliest one I’ve ever heard is, ‘Yeah, there’s this big, giant universe, and it’s expanding, and it’s all going to...

I was always a very happy, optimistic person.

I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.

We find just as many things to rip on the left as we do on the right. People on the far-left and the far-right are the same exact person to us.

In terms of the creative side of it, it’s really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever.

The only way to be punk rock in L.A. is to be a Republican.

So we’re considering doing a new Christmas album, because there’s been Christmas episodes since then, and maybe finally do the version of ‘The Most Offensive Song Ever’ with lyrics intact.

My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for ‘family home evening,’ and I was like, ‘Why aren’t you people ignoring each other and watching television?’

We made this really dumb decision to put on the cover nothing from South Park but just a real life photo of a piece of pooh dressed up like Mr. Hankey, and a lot of...

Sean Penn’s really the only one stupid enough to put anything down on paper.

I try not to tune in to politics until it’s two or three months before the election. Till then, it’s like watching preseason football.

We have it, we’re lucky enough that we’ve created a show where it’s not about… a family, or a kid, it’s about a town.

I’ve started confiding in people, other artists mostly, that I hate making ‘South Park,’ and I always have. It’s super stressful. I’m always miserable.

I got into this little habit of architecture and building. I designed a house in Colorado and one in Hawaii. The idea is supposed to be build and sell – but then I can never...

When someone goes, ‘Oh, this group is really pissed off at what you said,’ there’s not a piece of my body that goes, ‘Sweet!’ That means I did it wrong. I’m just trying to make...

When I was in sixth grade there was a talent show, and I wrote my first sketch, ‘The Dentist.’ I played the dentist, and I had my friend play a patient. It was sort of...

When you were a teenager in Colorado, the way to be a punk rocker was to rip on Reagan and Bush and what they were doing and talk about how everyone in Colorado’s a redneck...

You don’t need missionaries in Colorado; you got Colorado.

What we’re always looking for is weird social issues and weird connections to make. Luckily for them, there’s no shortage of material.

The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It’s just bad writing, really. And it’s...

It’s been a fascinating thing because we didn’t really know how to write when we started South Park at all. It’s been like, we’ve just sort of grown up a bit and it’s amazing to...