The pistachio: it’s just like our politics. When the two sides are divided, that’s when the nuts come out.

I’m off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.

If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.

I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is...

In America, we know to ignore artists if they’re serious in any way.

yes’.

Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I’m post-tweeting today. I’ll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, a family is defined as two or more people living together who are related by birth, marriage or adoption. In other words, the U.S. Census Bureau is run by...

A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It’s only the dogs who’ve accepted Christ.

Throughout human history, countries rise and fall. But not America–we continue to rise and rise, like dough, until Jesus bakes us in the fiery Afterscape of the Rapture.

Just because I haven’t put a lot of thought into this book doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. I warn you to read this book carefully. Savor my ideas. Memorize the pertinent passages. Eat with it, sleep...

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he’s never on welfare in a mysterious way.

My guest Newt Gingrich shut down the government during the Clinton administration. I’ll ask him when it’s gonna start working again.

After Jesus showed up, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up. Of course, just because Jesus replaces the Old Testament doesn’t mean that you should necessarily...

I love making observations. That one is a classic example.