For dinner I had seared sneer with a glaze of distant gaze, and a side of mashed pride covered in grace.

If facial expressions had fur, then I’d snuggle your sneer. It’s so ugly it’s cute, like one of those little dogs, the kind Ryan Lilly has.

And benefits? Just getting to breathe the same air as the distinguished guests that’ll scoff and sneer at me is more reward than I could imagine this side of heaven.

Who can refute a sneer?