The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It’s the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.

no glove, no love

What is my definition of jazz? ‘Safe sex of the highest order.

It seemed to me, watching, that if you were dextrous enough to gift-wrap an independent-minded amphibian, you could just about manage a condom.

I always have safe sex. I lock the door.

She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names.

Men who refuse to use condoms do not deserve to be fucked by anyone but other men who refuse to use condoms.