Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

Everything with me is either worship and passion or pity and understanding. I hate rarely, though when I hate, I hate murderously. For example now, I hate the bank and everything connected with it. I...

THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: ‘Please stop sucking my dick or I’ll call the police.

Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job. (You’re totally welcome, guys. P.S. Girls can’t see this sentence!!!!!)

I don’t like writers whose writing is so obvious that I can predict what he’ll write while I’m still taking in his current thoughts. Why, this means that I know what he knows, and the...

I’d missed this so much, this simple pleasure. The sensation of a heavy shaft sliding over my tongue, pushing deeper and deeper into me until my lips bumped against my hand.

Either a municipal bog is a private place or it isn’t. If it is a private place in which to shit, how is it not a private place in which to fellate?