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Daniel Handler  Quotes
She was all the world’s money, and I would spend it with her, my sharpest friend who changed the tide, my only comfort from the brutal gamble of the world and the wicked ways of...

—Daniel Handler

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Friends
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If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.

—Daniel Handler

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Gay
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Here we are at the bottom, almost empty. It’s like confetti, these dried remnants you find in the street for a party no one invited you to. But they used to be, I can admit,...

—Daniel Handler

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BreakupHeartbreakLove
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Maybe, generations ago, young people rebelled out of some clear motive, but now, we know we’re rebelling. Between teen movies and sex-ed textbooks we’re so ready for our rebellious phase we can’t help but feel...

—Daniel Handler

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RebellionTeenagers
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It will be a very long time before I trust you ever, ever – OK, I trust you again.

—Daniel Handler

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Trust
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And then like a song we’d forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.

—Daniel Handler

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LoveSong
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There were a million things, everything, I didn’t know. I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy. I took this thing I’m giving you back, this thing you gave me as the star we...

—Daniel Handler

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BreakupHeartbreakLove
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Te ofrecí una aventura, Ed, justo delante de ti, pero tu no fuiste capaz de verla hasta que yo te la mostré, y por eso rompimos

—Daniel Handler

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Broken-HeartEmotionalLove
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Beautiful.

—Daniel Handler

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FineSpiritual
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I’m nothing, not a single thing. The only particle I had, the only tiny thing raising me up, is that I was Ed Slaterton’s girlfriend, loved by you for like ten secs, and who cares,...

—Daniel Handler

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BreakupHeartbreakLove
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The thing with your heart’s desire is that your heart doesn’t even know what it desires until it turns up.

—Daniel Handler

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Love
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…Ni siquiera lo había estado buscando, no a ti, y ahora eras lo que mi corazón deseaba.

—Daniel Handler

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Broken-HeartEmotionalRelationships
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I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you. And I did. But that right there was why it was doomed.

—Daniel Handler

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HeartbreakLoveLovers
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We thought we had time. I waved but couldn’t answer, because I was finally letting myself grin as wide as I’d wanted all afternoon, all evening, every sec of every minute with you, Ed. Shit,...

—Daniel Handler

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BreakupHeartbreakLove
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A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.

—Daniel Handler

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HumorIgnoranceLemony-Snicket
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There are so many movies like this, where you thought you were smarter than the screen but the director was smarter than you, of course he’s the one, of course it was a dream, of...

—Daniel Handler

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LoveMoviesRelationships
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Dark, light, dark, light, dark-I swung and missed.

—Daniel Handler

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DarkLightMissed
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You winked, took the change. I should have seen it, Ed, as a sign that you were unreliable. Instead, I saw it as a sign of charming, which is why I didn’t break it off...

—Daniel Handler

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BreakupHeartbreakLove
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This is how it is in life and love. In life and love we are with people for a while, and then we join other people, people we have not met, and we walk with...

—Daniel Handler

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DeathLeavingLife
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The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie.

—Daniel Handler

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HumorMovies
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The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn’t have gotten it, Ed, I thought, watching her go. It’s why we broke up, so...

—Daniel Handler

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AngerBroke-UpCheating
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Phillip Murray and Wanda Saxton meet in the last scene under the rainy awning, their wrong wife and fiance finally story-lined away, and walk out together into the downpour – we know from the first...

—Daniel Handler

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Film-ReferenceRomantic
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This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody’s chewed this over. This unites us,...

—Daniel Handler

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AdverbsDaniel-HandlerLife
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I know you can’t see it, not you, Ed, but maybe if I tell you the whole plot you’ll understand it this once, because even now I want you to see it. I don’t love...

—Daniel Handler

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Broke-UpMovies
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I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed you, and that’s why we broke up.

—Daniel Handler

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AdventureHeartbreakRomance
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Another gift, another secret, another time to lean in and kiss me.

—Daniel Handler

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GiftKissLove
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Call me later, you’d said, so I could call you later, at night, and it is those nights I miss you, Ed, the most, on the phone, you beautiful bastard.

—Daniel Handler

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BastardBreak-UpsLove
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—,No lo sabes…? Pero acabas… acabas de gastarte cincuenta y cinco dólares en este libro.—Lo sé —respondiste—. No pasa nada.—Pero ,no sabes por qué?—Para hacerte feliz —fue lo único que dijiste, y de repente, Ed,...

—Daniel Handler

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Broken-HeartLoveMin
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You know I want to be a directos, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.

—Daniel Handler

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HeartbreakWhy-We-Broke-Up
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This teaching job did not pay a lot of money, because, let’s face it, nobody gives a flying fuck about education, but it was a temporary position.

—Daniel Handler

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EducationTeaching
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I’m writing it in this letter, the wholetruth of why it happened. And the truth isthat I goddamn loved you so much.

—Daniel Handler

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Broke-UpCoupleHeart
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And it wasn’t just us. It wasn’t just that we were high school, me a junior and you a senior, with our clothes all wrong for restaurants like this, too bright and too rumpled and...

—Daniel Handler

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High-SchoolUniqueness
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Te quise y ahora te devuelvo tus cosas, las saco de mi vida como a ti…

—Daniel Handler

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Emotional-PainHeartbreakRelationships
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You can’t mind these things, you just can’t, for to dislike what makes a person human is to dislike all humans.

—Daniel Handler

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DislikeHumans
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They say that when you’re really in love, the world becomes gossamer and gorgeous, but in my experience the world gets grimy, and the love object is in stark relief from the surroundings. This is...

—Daniel Handler

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GorgeousGossamerLove
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Everything else has vanished, so you take them now. Maybe if you’re the one keeping them, I’ll be the one feeling better.

—Daniel Handler

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Breaking-UpRegretsRelationships
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I’m writing it in a letter, the whole truth of why it happened. And the truth is that I goddamn loved you so much.

—Daniel Handler

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Break-UpHeartbreakHeartbroken
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All over the world are particular people, and you could be happy with probably five or six of them, eight if you’re bisexual and everyone is.

—Daniel Handler

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BisexualBisexualityLove
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I’m not a believer in predetermined fates, being rewarded for one’s efforts. I’m not a believer in karma. The reason why I try to be a good person is because I think it’s the right...

—Daniel Handler

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BeliefFateGoodness
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This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.

—Daniel Handler

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CoffeeCookiesHumor
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I’m dumping the whole box back into your life Ed, every item of you and me. I’m dumping this box on your porch, Ed, but it’s you, Ed, who is getting dumped.

—Daniel Handler

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Break-UpBreaking-UpDumped
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She had the look in her eye when you kick and kick at the door and it doesn’t open, when you write a boy letters and letters and he never loves you, not ‘til the...

—Daniel Handler

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Unrequited-Love
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