You know what? You know what? You know what?’ I was waving my finger under her nose. ‘You scratched the Son of God. That’s your ass, that’s what.

Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.

Of course they won’t bloody remember, they’ll be dead.’ Then she called him a name in a dead language that translated, roughly, to ‘poop on a stick,’ but sounded more succinct, like this: ‘Of course...

Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.

That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information.””Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system?

Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry, you can’t have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that’s never going to happen again.

I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.

In another Christmas story, Dale Pearson, evil developer, self-absorbed woman hater, and seemingly unredeemable curmudgeon, might be visited in the night by a series of ghosts who, by showing him bleak visions of Christmas future,...

Soon a whole guild of low-priced shrine keepers around Europe named their own pope – Boldface the Relatively Shameless, Discount Pope of Prague. The price war was on […] The Retail Pope would offer cheesy...

… but to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, ‘What if Jesus had known kung fu?

Science, you don’t know, looks like magic.

Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)” I thinks she’s going to break my heart” On arrival of the girl” The flannel is fine honey,but I have’nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!