Next out of the hall came the sisters and their husbands. Before I could say anything, the captain had clamped his hand over my mouth and was lifting me off my feet as I kicked....

A hundred brilliant witticisms died suffocating on the captain’s heavy glove. Thus muted, I pumped my codpiece at the duke and tried to force a fart, but my bum tumpet could find no note.

Advice, then, young yeoman: When referring to the king’s middle daughter, state that she is fair, speculate that she is pious, but unless you’d like to spend your watch looking for the box where your...

I’ll not have an exchange with an impudent fool.” [Oswald]He’s not impudent,” said Jones [the puppet]. “With proper inspiration, the lad sports a woody as stout as a mooring pin. Ask your lady.”I nodded in...

Soon a whole guild of low-priced shrine keepers around Europe named their own pope – Boldface the Relatively Shameless, Discount Pope of Prague. The price war was on […] The Retail Pope would offer cheesy...

Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.

[…] Y’know, the Duchess Regan is living here at the tower now? I took your advice about not talking about her boffnacity [footnote], even with the duke dead and all, can’t be too careful. Although,...

Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit

Not yet!” said she [Goneril], trying to roll me over and get back to smacking my bum.She honked my codpiece.You honked my codpiece.”Aye, give it up, fool.” […]

My children are monsters, Kiro thought. And I am responsible. Perhaps if I had read them the haikus of Basho when they were little instead of that American manifesto of high-pressure sales, Green Eggs and...

Si crees que todo el mundo está bien de la azotea es que no conoces a la gente que te rodea. La clave, y esto es muy relevante en nuestro caso, es encontrar a alguien...

What is your name?” asked Lear.Caius,” said Kent.And whence do you hail?”From Bonking, sire.”Well, yes, lad, as do we all,” said Lear, “but from what town?

Love? Sodding, bloody, tossing, bloody, sodding, bloody love? Irrelevant, superfluous, bloody, ruddy, rotten, sodding love? What ho? Wherefore? What the f*ck? Love?