It had nothing to do with gear or footwear or the backpacking fads or philosophies of any particular era or even with getting from point A to point B. It had to do with how...

A brick could be substituted in for Rhode Island as a US state, because they’re roughly the same size, the have the same population (the brick may have one less person), and Grandma Kintz makes...

A brick represents my rationality, and a blanket represents my emotions. It’s robot versus mannequin, and to get a sense of who I am as a person, you need some mortar and a pillow.

A brick could be used to decorate a house. And not just one brick, thousands could be stacked and affixed together and really make your house not only feel like a home, but less drafty...

A brick could be used to create a new society, a perfect society, where there is no inequality, there are no laws, and most importantly, there are no people.

A brick could be used as a marketing tool. I’ll help you grow your business, if you help me plant this brick in the ground.

Bricks could be used as breast implants. Lady Squaretits is really particular about the shape of her boobs.

Disbelief held me down inside my footsteps, making my body heavy but my heart wild.

I’m generally more and more in my comfort zone in the wild.

Kisslikeyouneverhada past.

The More Interesting Than.” I would say get Miley Cyrus to do it, but she isn’t interesting enough.

A brick could be used to encourage trees to grow fruitful things like money. If money grew on trees, then I’d get drunk on that fermentation.

A blanket could be used to stop abuse. Don’t cover up the atrocity—cover up your head, because what you don’t see, may as well not exist.

A brick could be used to silence your critics. Think of it like a really thick and unchewy piece of chewing gum.

A brick could be used as a penis enlargement aid. Just tie a string around both your penis and a brick, and drop the brick off the roof of a building. I’m not stretching the...

A blanket could be shared with someone cold. And if you’re sharing your blanket, they might as well share the blame in getting pregnant. It’s not like they can blame me, because I was in...

A brick could be used as a weight to keep the cardboard cutout of the Federal Government from blowing over. Well, at least unless a hurricane gets here, which would mean the government knocked down...

A blanket could be used to show love, by providing warmth, comfort, and an itchiness of desire that cannot be satisfied by a single scratch.

Bricks could be used to fill Fort Knox. I know, I know. You’re probably thinking, if we fill Fort Knox with bricks, where will we keep all the gold that’s kept there? I still need...

A brick could be used to let that special someone in your life know how much you love them. Instead of tossing out a careless I love you, try tossing a brick at them instead.

A brick could be used in the same manner as a magician’s hat could be used as a basketball. I’m not suggesting a brick replace a basketball, because that’d be silly. But not as silly...

My name is Mr. Brickton, and this brick, it weighs a ton.

A brick could be used like ice cream. But hold up, hold up. Let me put a bowl under it before you start licking, or else you’ll drip brick all over my blanket.

A blanket could be drenched in water, frozen, and then enjoyed like a giant cotton popsicle by prisoners of a gulag, who might consider this a tasty treat compared to what they normally eat.

One brick is not a wall. Unless you’re an ant, and then it’s not only a wall, it’s a building—a building that has no doors, windows, or people in the form of managers that I’d...

A brick could be tied to a cape, and then exalted as a superhero. Is that any more absurd than Superman?

A brick could be used to commit genocide on a small patch of grass, if you lay the brick down on the lawn and leave it there long enough. But I do not condone this...

A brick could be used to prop up a wobbly table—or an unstable relationship. I wish I’d have thought of that before I got divorced.

A blanket could be used as an American flag. It could keep the world warm with its patronizing patriotism and imperialism.

1212Forget what they told you. You are love child of a passionate affair between goddess and universe. You were born of a steamy forbidden heat and you were made for the cyclone of unadulterated wholeness....

Les histoires sont des créatures sauvages. Quand tu les libères, qui sait ce qu’elles peuvent déclencher?

Qu’y-a-t-il au sommet de la montagne ?- Le ciel.- Que dit le loup quand il hurle ?- Joie, force et solitude.- A qui s’adresse-t-il ?- A la lune.- Où va la rivière ?- Remplir la...

I came to see myself one day and it was like looking into a mirror. I came to see that at any given moment, I am both equally ready to stay and to leave. It’s...

A brick could be used to remind you. I would remind you of what you need to be reminded about, but that’s not my role—that’s the brick’s place.

A blanket could be used, or it could not be used. They are opposites, but that doesn’t mean one is good and the other is bad.

Bricks could be used to neatly pack your suitcase. It would promote personal strength and frugality.

A brick could be used as a flying decision inducer. You could have said yes before I threw the brick, but I suppose you’ll be more agreeable when you wake up from your coma.

A brick could be used to stop potential terrorist plots. But it sure would be more effective if I could just record every single phone conversation, email, text message, Google search, and Skype video chat...

A brick could be used to teach men how to dance, by learning balance. But a blanket could also teach men how to dance, by providing motivation to get good so they can get some...

A brick is blocking my urethra. But it’s not painful, because my penis is just that big. Oh yes, it’s as big as this lie is.

A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man.

A brick could be used in a manner most secret. But Shh! I can’t tell you. What part about secret don’t you understand?

The cloud cover made for a terrible blanket.

A brick could be used as a dream stimulator. Just tap it gently against your forehead. And if the mechanism gets stuck, just slam it down on your skull to jar everything loose.

A brick could be pet, like a dog, and taught to shit in my neighbor’s yard.

Man’s mind is a coast of great monuments, the source of wild and complex dreams and accomplishments that physical eyes have not seen.

A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed.

A blanket could be used to keep people warm. But take it from me: you want to freeze those dead bodies as soon as they’re cold and lifeless, because you don’t want the bodies staying...

A brick could have been used as a father figure in place of my dad when I was growing up, because a brick may be dumb, but at least it isn’t dumb and interfering in...

I promise I shall never give up, and that I’ll die yelling and laughing, and that until then I’ll rush around this world I insist is holy and pull at everyone’s lapel and make them...