We were wearing diapers at the same time. We didn’t grow up together, however. I was in the crib, and she was playing cribbage in the nursing home.

33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins.

I’m getting gray hair in all sorts of crazy places. Like all over my carpet. It’s like I live in a nursing home, except without all the sex.

Putting your time in at the office; dutifully spawning your two point five; smiling politely at your retirement party; then chewing on your bedsheet and choking on your canned peaches at the nursing home. It...

Combine nursing homes with nursery schools. Bring very old and very young together: they interest one another.