Driving at night, when it’s dark, it’s the best time to wear a blindfold. My bumper sticker says honk if you’re horny, so give me a beep or two.

Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing.

To get faster and better service, ring a bell. It’s the same principal as honking at someone in traffic. People respond well to it, and they seem to really enjoy it.

I don’t like sleeping, but I do like watching the inside of my eyelids. That’s how I drive, and that’s how I make love. Honk when you’re finished.

People do that too. Their hair changes color as they age.” I remember that as my grandpa got older, his hair went from green to yellow to red, like a traffic light, only with slightly...