My two favourite things in life are libraries and bicycles. They both move people forward without wasting anything. The perfect day: riding a bike to the library.

Maybe if I’d agreed to do the debutante thing like she wanted. Or taken up pageants instead of riding jump bikes with a bunch of grungy boys. I’d always tell her, why can’t I do...

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.

It’s been a while since I’ve had sex. I figured it was just like riding a bike, the only difference is that after a while, the bike doesn’t turn you over and ride you.