Integrity is congruence between what you know, what you profess, and what you do.

The greater a child’s terror, and the earlier it is experienced, the harder it becomes to develop a strong and healthy sense of self.

A bully hides his fears with fake bravado. That is the opposite of self-assertiveness.

All positive interactions with other human beings involve, to some degree, the experience of visibility– that is, the experience of being seen and understood.

Chances are, when you were young, you were told, in effect, “Listen, kid, here is the news: life is not about you. Life is not about what you want. What you want is not important....

Suffering is just about the easiest of all human activities; being happy is just about the hardest. And happiness requires, not surrender to guilt, but emancipation from guilt.

Anyone who engages in the practice of psychotherapy confronts every day the devastation wrought by the teachings of religion.

The opposite of self-assertiveness is self-abnegation–abandoning or submerging your personal values, judgment, and interests. Some people tell themselves this is a virtue. It is a “virtue” that corrodes self-esteem.

The challenge for people today–and it is not and easy one–is to maintain high personal standards even while feeling that one is living in a moral sewer.

In any culture, subculture, or family in which belief is valued above thought, and self-surrender is valued above self-expression, and conformity is valued above integrity, those who preserve their self-esteem are likely to be heroic...

Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves–their convictions and their aspirations–every day. There is nothing noble about it. It takes far more courage to...

We are parts of one universe, true enough. We stand within an almost infinite network of relationships. Yet each of us is a single point of consciousness, a unique event, a private, unrepeatable world. This...

Genuine self esteem – please understand this – genuine self esteem is not competitive or comparative. Genuine self esteem isn’t expressed by self-glorification at the expense of others, or by trying to make yourself superior...

If you choose not to live self-responsibly, you count on others to make up your default. No one abjures self-responsibility on a desert island.

It is naive to think that self-assertiveness is easy. To live self-assertively–which means to live authentically–is an act of high courage. That is why so many people spend the better part of their lives in...

Self-discipline is the ability to organize your behavior over time in the service of specific goals.

Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves.

It is not only negative feelings that become blocked. The repression extends to more and more of his emotional capacity.When one is given an anesthetic in preparation for surgery, it is not merely the capacity...

Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy. They wonder why others often fail to treat them with respect–not realizing that they have signalled others that it...

Self-esteem is not a luxury; it is a profound spiritual need.

It is a mistake to look at someone who is self assertive and say, “It’s easy for her, she has good self-esteem.” One of the ways you build self-esteem is by being self-assertive when it...

The idea of original sin–of guilt with no possibility of innocence, no freedom of choice, no alternatives–inherently militates against self-esteem. The very notion of guilt without volition or responsibility is an assault on reason as...

It is humiliating to realize that when you drive yourself underground, when you fake who you are, often you do so for people you do not even like or respect.

One of the great self-deceptions–and one of the great foolishnesses–is to tell yourself, Only I will know. Only you will know that you are a liar; only you will know you deal unethically with people...

It is painful to face the self we know we have never had the integrity to honor and assert.

Most people do not erode their self-esteem over big issues but over small ones, little acts of betrayal and hypocrisy forgotten (repressed) very quickly. But the computer in your subconscious mind forgets nothing. It records...

One of the hardest expressions of self-assertiveness is challenging your limiting beliefs.