Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship.

Page 142: “When a spouse says to the alcoholic, “you need to go to AA,” that is obviously not true. The addict feels no need to do that at all, and isn’t. But when she...

We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

This principle is taught in Scripture: “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). In other words, we learn to be loving because we are loved. Grace must come from the outside for...

Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children’s most primitive fears.

People who always want to be happy and pursue it above all else are some of the most miserable people in the world.

If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you ‘do’ boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how...

Page 99: “…unless something changes, the future that you can expect is more of the past. Sorry or becoming committed does not make Jim Carrey a great golfer, or made Jack nicklaus funny. Recommitment does...

Don’t go overboard in praising required behavior: ‘We have only done our duty’ (Luke 17:10). But do go overboard when your child confesses the truth, repents honestly, takes chances, and loves openly. Praise the developing...

If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by...

Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent’s job is to make the rule. The child’s job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child...

When we ask we are owning our needs. Asking for love, comfort or understanding is a transaction between two people. You are saying: I have a need. It’s not your problem. It’s not your responsibility....

Encourage literally came from “in courage.” The courage is put “into” you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.

When a person travels through a few years with an organization, or with a partnership, or any other kind of working association, he leaves a ‘wake’ behind in these two areas, task and relationship: what...

Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.

Boundary construction is most evident in three-year-olds. Boundary construction is most evident in three-year-olds. By this time, they should have mastered the following tasks:1. The ability to be emotionally attached to others, yet without giving...

You aren’t alive if you aren’t in need.

Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.

Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.