“Holy shit, I’m going to die!” Sorry, I just turned thirty yesterday, so my mortality is on my mind.

Winter and spring blended together this year like ice in water, and I was left thirsting for love. I’d better lay off the saltine crackers.

When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I’ll probably call my grandma up, because as old as I’ll feel, she’ll be feeling older. Twelve years older.