When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I’ll probably call my grandma up, because as old as I’ll feel, she’ll be feeling older. Twelve years older.

“Holy shit, I’m going to die!” Sorry, I just turned thirty yesterday, so my mortality is on my mind.

Winter and spring blended together this year like ice in water, and I was left thirsting for love. I’d better lay off the saltine crackers.