I Didn’t Ask to Be a Senior Citizen (I Was Drafted)

A Toyota is not a toy. At least not a sex toy. However, my driving is both erratic and erotic. Tickets are ten dollars per passenger. Senior citizen discounts not available.

Rich old people are more attractive than poor old people, so by all means, try to get rich before age sets in. Otherwise, you’ll just be playing catch-up for the rest of your life and...

Put ’em who threaten possessions and power together with ’em who offend our tastes in sex and dope. Those who’re touched, put ’em in asylums. Pack off old ones to ‘senior communities,’ nursing homes. Our...