When I sing, it sounds like I’m gargling spaghetti. Is it any wonder that women lust after me and mail me their panties? (Mail to: Jarod Kintz/12358 Fibonacci Way/Jacksonville, Fl 32258)

Why in the name of God do you wear these ugly ass granny panties? I swear it looks like you could parachute from the Dallas Lincoln Plaza with these and have a nice soft landing!...

A chastity device won’t put out the flames of burning flesh.The Ultimate Guide to ChastityRemoving the Iron Panties

How many rooms are there in the chambers of your heart? How many rooms full of memories can you describe like the one I’m going to tell you about. You know how you left him...