I am the kid who sticks her finger in the light socket. I am the person who doesn’t check the expiration date on the milk. I am the idiot who has never looked before she...

I’m thirsty for your love. I hope you don’t mind, but I drank straight from the carton—without even checking to see if it had expired.

Maybe everything really does just have an expiration date—one that you can’t see until she tells you she’s leaving, and then she’s gone.

So the people of Earth thought they had instructions from the Creator of the Universe Himself to wreck the joint. But they were going at it too slowly for the Elders, so the Elders put...