Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.

The hair is real – it’s the head that’s a fake.

Totalitarianism is patriotism institutionalized.

When my mother passed away several years ago—well, wait a minute. Actually, she didn’t ‘pass away.’ She died. Something about that verb, ‘to pass away’ always sounds to me as if someone just drifted through...

Dark energy is perhaps the biggest mystery in physics.

In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders.

If you pray for rain long enough, it eventually does fall. If you pray for floodwaters to abate, they eventually do. The same happens in the absence of prayers.

If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow.

I do not understand those who take little or no interest in the subject of religion. If religion embodies a truth, it is certainly the most important truth of human existence. If it is largely...

Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.

Asthma doesn’t seem to bother me any more unless I’m around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.

I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind.

One of the nice things about problems is that a good many of them do not exist except in our imaginations.

If there is a God, the phrase that must disgust him is – holy war.