My libido was doing the humpy dance while dressed in Milkbone pasties and a thong.

The way I saw it, one of the single greatest advantages of being in a relationship was that you got to eat off the other person’s plate.

I blinked at her, suddenly loathing her to the depths of my soul. Not only was she probably rather evil, and definitely thoroughly unpleasant, but she also didn’t read.

I was pretty sure I’d just had a nerdgasm.

I do know you’re nothing like him. But you’re still….still a lot. A lot to handle. I don’t mean your junk, obviously, as we’ve not gotten to the fondling-bits stage yet. And I can’t believe...

I wanted to pull out his toenails and poke them in his eyeballs.