Well, what do you want me to say?’ The Doctor was so angry he was almost hovering. ‘Well done on marrying the only male nurse not to have a full set of Barbara Streisand records?...

Oh, and I [Amy] may also have told him that I quite fancied Dr Smith [The Doctor]. Which in the 1780s was probably punishable by stoning or corsets.

I always like toast in a crisis.

It’s Smith, actually.’ Dr Smith smiled, bowing. ‘I’ve remembered that my name is Smith. Almost definitely. Good old English name. Hopefully means ‘noble valiant warriot’ and not ‘he who hits kittens with a hammer.’ You’d...

I know what you must think of me,’ [the Doctor] said, his voice so slow. It was like a voice designed for laughing that didn’t get to do it often. ‘I’m going to tell you...

I dunno about you, but I’ve always fancied knocking off early for a quiet night in with Call The Midwife. Do you get that here, sir?””No,” I told him. For some reason a smile was...

Don’t get me started on the whole Doctor-Amy-Rory thing. It’s kind of like… I dunno. Suppose you’d always fancied Ryan Reynolds. That’s fine, yeah. You meet someone else, who is maybe not Ryan Reynolds, but...

Maria?… She’s been writing all this down? Oh, bless her…’ He leafed on through the pile. ‘Although that’s not how that happened… and no, she’s wrong, bowties are cool.

[Amy] pulled a face. ‘Honestly, when you grow up you’ll learn you may as well try herding cats as keeping men in one place,’ she told me solemnly, which I vowed to remember.

He was… wearing a tasselled velvet nightcap that I [Amy] noticed the Doctor eyeing up. If Boris didn’t watch out, that’d go missing and we’d never hear the end of ‘Nightcaps are cool.

Don’t worry, I’m shielding you. When we crashed here and it first attacked me, I was caught with my mental trousers down. Not anymore. Psychic force field’s intact. Belts and braces. Braces, by the way,...

At the moment, it’s simply a difference of opinon between the Doctor and you.. You both want the best. You’ve only tried to kill him a couple of times… I mean, don’t worry about that....

I’ve lost the TARDIS as well.’I [Amy] was outraged. Considering my husband was dying and we were stranded in the past, the Doctor seemed fairly calm about things. ‘Someone’s nicked it!”Not so much, no.’ The...

Something pretty bad’s happening nearby in the space-time continuum.’ the Doctor shouted over the noise. ‘The TARDIS is a terrible rubbernecker – like a little old lady, she can’t resist slowing down for a gawp...

So… Boris. Are you evil?’ [said the Doctor].’Not at all, my dear sir,’ chuckled Boris.’You just chuckled,’ groaned the Doctor. ‘Chuckling’s a dead givaway in my books. Along with putting your hands on your hips...

The Doctor puffed out some air and looked down to the sea. ‘A very charming man. I should be more careful of very charming men… At least I don’t have that problem with you, Rory.”Oi,’...

He [the Doctor] groaned. ‘Why does it always have to be me?”Mr Rory is ill. You’re the next best thing,’ I [Maria] said simply.’Thank you,’ he muttered. He didn’t sound very pleased at all at...

I love you,’ cooed Fake Amy. ‘You dance so much better than the Doctor.”Silly.’ Real Amy nudged her in the ribs. ‘Hippos dance better than the Doctor.

Magic?’ Kate snorted. ‘There’s no such thing. Is there?”Magic?’ Barnabas shrugged. ‘Why not? Magic is cool.”But there has to be a rational explanation.”Oh there is,’ Barnabas led her our of the cave and back to...

The Doctor. He grabbed hold of Rory’s ankle, dragging him protesting out from under the table. ‘Rory!’ he grinned, wrapping him in an enourmous bear hug that squeezed the breath out of him. ‘I’ve been...

Now… Just run.’ [said the Doctor.]One of the things you learn very quickly around the Doctor is never to question him when he says that word. You just run. It’s almost like breathing.

[The Doctor] pulled the thing out of Prince Boris’s mouth, waving it around. ‘Oh. Blimey. This is not a spatula. What is it?’I [Amy] stared at the stubby thing. It looked like the world’s chunkiest...

But Amy Pond. Oh! The Sea had briefly been able to touch her mind — it knew that the Doctor was the most important thing in the world to her, and it had given a...

You see, there’s a drill:1. I [Amy] will say ‘Right then, let’s go and rescue him [Rory].’2. The Doctor will say ‘Ah yes, but…’3. And then he’ll list the fourteen things that we have to...

Rory’s not my pet dog!’ I [Amy] yelled at the Doctor.’Well, that would be better.’ He was truly angry. ‘Dogs I can live with.’ He paused, suddenly hopeful. ‘Quite sure you’re not a cat person?”This...

Rory stood up with some difficulty, the chair still tied to him. He leaned over me [Maria] and managed to pull my ropes free. Then he turned to Dr Bloom.’We’re escaping,’ he said. ‘Goodbye.’Chair still...

Now here’s Amy Pond, standing in the freezing ocean, holding the body of her imaginary friend, and shouting at the sea to make him better.Yeah. If only my therapists could see me now.

Rory, Rory, Rory – was it your idea to get The Sea to cure me?’ [said the Doctor.]’Yes,’ said Rory, smiling.’That was brilliant.’ The Doctor beamed, then his face fell. ‘-ly awful.

Which brings me to you, Prince Boris. And I’m sorry, but here’s the thing… I think you’re one of the nicest Russian aristocrats I’ve ever met and not been forced into an arranged marriage with,’...

How are you, Rory?’ [the Doctor] asked.I [Rory]… answered him. ‘It’s been odd being you.”Isn’t it?’ The Doctor’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.’How do you cope?”Ah…’ The Doctor picked away at a scrap of...

Maria looked at the TARDIS… ‘Is that really your carriage?’ She asked. ‘It is not very good, monsieur. It has no wheels.”It doesn’t need them,’ laughed Amy. ‘It’s an English carriage. They don’t have wheels.’Does...

Really, awfully, terribly, I had a sudden attack of hiccups. I was staring at the Doctor, murderously angry with him. And hiccuping…’That’s it. I’m going down there. I’m offering myself to them instead. If you’re...