Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology.

Even in moments of tranquility, Murray Walker sounds like a man whose trousers are on fire.

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.

Whoever called snooker ‘chess with balls’ was rude, but right.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

All intellectual tendencies are corrupted when they consort with power.

Anyone afraid of what he thinks television does to the world is probably just afraid of the world.

And every writer cherishes the dream of setting the young on fire, even if only by a cigarette butt tossed casually over the shoulder, and when we meet young people who say that they were...