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Bill Bryson  Quotes
Three hundred types of mussel, a third of the world’s total, live in the Smokies. Smokies mussels have terrific names, like purple wartyback, shiny pigtoe, and monkeyface pearlymussel. Unfortunately, that is where all interest in...

—Bill Bryson

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ExtinctionMusselsNature
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Because of social strictures against even the mildest swearing, America developed a particularly rich crop of euphemistic expletives – darn, durn, goldurn, goshdad, goshdang, goshawful, blast, consarn, confound, by Jove, by jingo, great guns, by...

—Bill Bryson

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EnglishHumorLanguage
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Shakespeare ‘never owned a book,’ a writer for the New York Times gravely informed readers in one doubting article in 2002. The statement cannot actually be refuted, for we know nothing about his incidental possessions....

—Bill Bryson

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EvidenceHistoryShakespeare
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As my father always used to tell me, ‘You see, son, there’s always someone in the world worse off than you.’ And I always used to think, ‘So?

—Bill Bryson

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CynicismHumor
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In my day the principal concerns of university students were sex, smoking dope, rioting and learning. Learning was something you did only when the first three weren’t available.

—Bill Bryson

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HumorLearningStudents
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It was a lot more fun to get famous than to be famous.

—Bill Bryson

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CelebrityFameHumility
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Even the simplest things had a glorious pointlessness to them. When buttons came in, about 1650, people couldn’t get enough of them and arrayed them in decorative profusion on the backs and collars and sleeves...

—Bill Bryson

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ButtonsClothingFads
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I know this goes without saying, but Stonehenge really was the most incredible accomplishment. It took five hundred men just to pull each sarsen, plus a hundred more to dash around positioning the rollers. Just...

—Bill Bryson

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EnglandHistoryHumor
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Hey, I took eight-thousand breaths today.” It’s just what you do.

—Bill Bryson

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DistanceTravelWalking
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Imagine having a city full of things that no other city had.

—Bill Bryson

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AmericaCitiesUrban-Life
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As we parted at the Natural History Museum in London, I asked Richard Fortey how science ensures that when one person goes there’s someone ready to take his place.He chuckled rather heartily at my naiveté....

—Bill Bryson

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ResearchScience
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I know a man who drives 600 yards to work. I know a woman who gets in her car to go a quarter of a mile to a college gymnasium to walk on a treadmill,...

—Bill Bryson

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ExerciseHumorNature
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Just because a word or expression has an antiquity or was once widely used does not confer on it some special immunity

—Bill Bryson

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LanguagePolitical-Correctness
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It was one of those sumptuous days when the world is full of autumn muskiness and tangy, crisp perfection: vivid blue sky, deep green fields, leaves in a thousand luminous hues. It is a truly...

—Bill Bryson

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AutumnColours
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Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life’s quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner...

—Bill Bryson

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ImprobabilityLife
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I used to give X-ray vision a lot of thought because I couldn’t see how it could work. I mean, if you could see through people’s clothing, then surely you would also see through their...

—Bill Bryson

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HumorImaginationKids
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It is a slightly arresting notion that if you were to pick yourself apart with tweezers, one atom at a time, you would produce a mound of fine atomic dust, none of which had ever...

—Bill Bryson

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AtomsScienceSelf-Awareness
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Noting the lack of crime or security in the Netherlands, the author asked a native who guarded a national landmark. He got the replay, “We all do.

—Bill Bryson

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Civic-VirtueCommunity
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Nothing – really, absolutely nothing – says more about Victorian Britain and its capacity for brilliance than that the century’s most daring and iconic building was entrusted to a gardener.

—Bill Bryson

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HistoryHumor
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By the time I had finished my coffee and returned to the streets, the rain had temporarily abated, but the streets were full of vast puddles where the drains where unable to cope with the...

—Bill Bryson

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HumorTravel
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They talk about big skies in the western United States, and they may indeed have them, but you have never seen such lofty clouds, such towering anvils, as in Iowa in July.

—Bill Bryson

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AmericaCloudsIowa
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Most of the time I am sunk in thought, but at some point on each walk there comes a moment when I look up and notice, with a kind of first-time astonishment, the amazing complex...

—Bill Bryson

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HikingMountaineeringNature
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If we should be worrying about anything to do with the future of English, it should not be that the various strands will drift apart but that they will grow indistinguishable. And what a sad,...

—Bill Bryson

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LanguageLingodiversityLinguistics
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A significant fraction of thru-hikers reach Katahdin, then turn around and start back to Georgia. They just can’t stop walking, which kind of makes you wonder.

—Bill Bryson

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Appalachain-TrailHikingWalking
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I come Des Moines. Somebody had to.

—Bill Bryson

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First-LinesFirst-WordsIowa
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It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect.

—Bill Bryson

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HumorHumorousHumour
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I sat on a toilet watching the water run thinking what an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning all the comforts of home and then expend vast quantities...

—Bill Bryson

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Creature-ComfortsHomeTourism
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Why is it, I wondered, that old people are always so self-centered and excitable? But I just smiled benignly and stood back, comforted by the thought that soon they would be dead.

—Bill Bryson

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DeadHumorOld-People
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It was an odd situation. For a century and a half, men got rid of their own hair, which was perfectly comfortable, and instead covered their heads with something foreign and uncomfortable. Very often it...

—Bill Bryson

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FashionHairHistory
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To my mind, the greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so...

—Bill Bryson

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Travel
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Finally, this being America, there is the constant possibility of murder.

—Bill Bryson

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AmericaFunnyMuder
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But don’t worry,” she continued. “Most snakes don’t want to hurt you. If you’re out in the bush and a snake comes along, just stop dead and let it slide over your shoes.”This, I decided,...

—Bill Bryson

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HumorNature
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The author reveals a cultural change that took place when clergy were paid based on a tax on the land’s value rather than what it produced. This meant that, while parishioners could suffer through a...

—Bill Bryson

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CompassionDetachmentMinistry
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Four times I was honked at for having the temerity to proceed through town without the benefit of metal.

—Bill Bryson

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CarsWalking
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Thoreau was an idiot.

—Bill Bryson

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Truth
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If the mattress stains were anything to go by, a previous user had not so much suffered from incontinence as rejoiced in it.

—Bill Bryson

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Humorous
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If a potato can produce vitamin C, why can’t we? Within the animal kingdom only humans and guinea pigs are unable to synthesize vitamin C in their own bodies. Why us and guinea pigs? No...

—Bill Bryson

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HealthSupplementsTrivia
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A third…candidate for Shakespearean authorship was Christopher Marlowe. He was the right age (just two months older than Shakespeare), had the requisite talent, and would certainly have had ample leisure after 1593, assuming he wasn’t...

—Bill Bryson

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Christopher-MarloweShakespeareWilliam-Shakespeare
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For anyone of a rational disposition, fashion is often nearly impossible to fathom. Throughout many periods of history – perhaps most – it can seem as if the whole impulse of fashion has been to...

—Bill Bryson

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FashionHistoryHumor
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The romance of travel wasn’t always terribly evident to those who were actually experiencing it.

—Bill Bryson

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DiscontentmentTravelWonderlust
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It wasn’t until we dropped him at his university dormitory and left him there looking touchingly lost and bewildered amid an assortment of cardboard boxes and suitcases in a spartan room not unlike a prison...

—Bill Bryson

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AdolescenceGrowing-UpLove
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I remember reading once how some Stone Age Indians from the Brazilian rain forest with no knowledge or expectation of a world beyond the jungle were taken to Sao Paulo or Rio, and when they...

—Bill Bryson

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Appalachain-TrailModernityNature
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It is easy to overlook the thought that life just is. As humans we are inclined to feel that life must have a point.We have plans and aspirations and desires. We want to take constant...

—Bill Bryson

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Life
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Every twenty minutes on the Appalachian Trail, Katz and I walked farther than the average American walks in a week. For 93 percent of all trips outside the home, for whatever distance or whatever purpose,...

—Bill Bryson

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American-CultureAppalachian-TrailCars
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I became quietly seized with that nostalgia that overcomes you when you have reached the middle of your life and your father has recently died and it dawns on you that when he went he...

—Bill Bryson

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DeathMiddle-AgeNostalgia
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On a cooler sun on a primordial earth: “I later learned that biologists, when they are feeling jocose, refer to this as the ‘Chinese Resaturant Problem’–because we has a dim sun.

—Bill Bryson

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HumorousScience
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It is not as if farming brought a great improvement in living standards either. A typical hunter-gatherer enjoyed a more varied diet and consumed more protein and calories than settled people, and took in five...

—Bill Bryson

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DietFarmingHealth
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You may not feel outstandingly robust, but if you are an average-sized adult you will contain within your modest frame no less than 7 X 10^18 joules of potential energy—enough to explode with the force...

—Bill Bryson

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EnergyMatterPhysics
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Just a month after the completion of the Declaration of Independence, at a time when he delegates might have been expected to occupy themselves with more pressing concerns -like how they were going to win...

—Bill Bryson

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HistoryHumorLanguage
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Bulgaria, I reflected as I walked back to the hotel, isn’t a country; it’s a near-death experience.

—Bill Bryson

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19901990sAdventure
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