I want a trophy wife. I’ll keep her on the shelf next to my future Nobel peace prize. (I plan on inventing a gun that shoots love, not bullets.)

There is not a sprig of grass that shoots uninteresting to me.

The shrieks were coming from two quite naked girls, who were pursued by a pair of apes snapping at their bottoms. […] So he now raises his double-barrelled Spanish rifle, fires and kills both apes....