F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship. And while they are looking down on it in astonishment, I’ll bunch up my...

My day starts like a regular guy’s. I wake up, drink raw eggs, run around Philadelphia, and punch raw slabs of meat. Wait, that’s not my story—that’s Rocky’s. I get us confused all the time.

I had a dream about you. I was a shoe salesman and you had no feet. I needed to make a sale or I’d be fired, and you needed reliable transportation. I suggested you buy...

Manny has swung with many men, but many men never seen Manny’s blissful swing.

Language is the proper way to communicate, followed closely by five balled up fingers forming a fist and flying at a face. Violence is never the answer—unless the question is: What the fuck are you...

I don’t want to see you. I don’t like you. I don’t like your face. You look like an insufferable egotist. You’re impertinent. You’re too sure of yourself. Twenty years ago I would have punched...

I wanted to punch him and understand him at the same time.

Never throw the first punch. If you have to throw the second, try to make sure they don’t get up for a third.

They say instant communication is not communication at all but merely a frantic, trivial, nerve-wracking bombardment of clichés, threats, fads, fashions, gibberish and advertising. However, who has not hung on a scripture, a quote, a...

I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you couldn’t tell because I was already sitting in the nosebleed section.

He’s got the world’s softest knuckles. They’re like rubber the way they bounce off my steel balls.

I don’t punch walls, because walls don’t punch back. I also don’t punch things that can and do punch back.

You don’t need brass knuckles to discover if a man has a glass jaw. All you need to do is stick his face in a dishwasher, and then check for water spots.

I apologized for punching him. I thought he was attacking me with a karate chop disguised as a handshake.