The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content.

The length of people I love is too long to list. But if you were to do it, it would look like a phone book.

For the benefit of those half-dozen people who will see a name like Gwillim and put this book down in order to go look it up to see where it comes from — it is...

I love in all directions, except southeast. Don’t ask me why, because I already told you where. Also, don’t ask me who, because the list of who I love is as long as a phone...

The phone book shouldn’t be arranged alphabetically, but by height. Guess how tall my love for you is. That’s right—taller than Goliath!

Hey, what is that over there?” and I pointed over your shoulder, and when you turned to look I scribbled my name on the bottom of page one.